Comfort in Times of Sorrow...

"For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief." (v.18) Ecclesiastes 1:1-18

It is amazing (my new word for the week) how awesome God is during times of grief & sorrow. Today, I received some sad news on someone in my life who has cancer. It was totally unexpected and the person just happened to go to the doctor this weekend due to back pain. Who knew within a 48 hour period we would now be talking about surgery, leave, etc., etc.? This is someone who is so strong for everyone else and given her/his faith, the soft question of "Why me?" made its way to the conversation as we sat and tears streamed. I could not answer the question then and still am unable to now.

I'm home for the evening and settled in to take a moment to read my devotional for the day. The above scriptural passage was given, and the topic dealt with understanding why bad things happen. We may never be able to answer the question of why suffering and pain exists, but we fortunately are able to put our trust and confidence in the Father. "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy does come in the morning!" (Psalm 30:5)

With every testimony and story that comes into my life, I realize how blessed and fortunate I am. I do not take for granted anything He's given me. I desire to have a purpose-driven life that will not be about my personal agenda, but His perfect will.

Yes, I am a Messy Christian, but Thank God, I am aware and desire to grow.

A Moment of Silence...to Cry Out

Since Easter Sunday, the familiar words of a scriptural passage have kept resurfacing. If we don't cry out (to Him), the rocks will (Luke 19:40). Returning back from break, there were so many instances this week where there was need to cry out. It appeared that many came back sad, broken hearted, or more tired than when we left. One of my colleagues entered my office before the first bell could even ring and cried from her situations over break. Later, another shared her troubles...and another...and another...Along the same note, I have had some interesting encounters with people from my past. Sadly, I learned of a classmate who has MS and is battling that fight. Her spirits are somewhat high, but I can only imagine the emotions she has been experiencing, having a child to raise alone since her husband left them. Sigh.

I haven't even covered the situations that surround the children that I work with on a daily basis. Our first day from break, I sat in two disciplinary hearings. The struggles and obstacles the parents have to endure while their children sit and could care less. In a meeting later in the week, my heart was uplifted by a young man who is out on long-term suspension. He made some really bad choices, but at the meeting shared some profound things, which inspired the title for this piece.

In the midst of all of the things that occurred this week, I continued to come back to the words, "Even the rocks will cry out!" In the midst of my worries and concerns, I know that I am so blessed. I don't always cry out to let him know just how BIG he is in my life. There are so many songs we sing on Sunday morning and just take for granted. Immediately, "Amazing Grace" and "I Surrender All" come to mind. I have never been much of a fan of the former, but our pastor offered such awesome words after singing it this morning. We never think about the fact that it's more than just a song. HIS grace IS amazing! His love is unending and beyond description.

In my silence, my heart is here singing & shouting out. This week ended roughly with me making a decision that I knew was best for me. I don't always understand why things play out the way they do, but I trust God. I sit here, type and think of the words shared in another blog today with discussion that came from a church service. The sermon topic was defining love, and the writer captured one of the descriptors used: "Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

Hm...There are things coming to mind in my tired state that will take me to my slumber for the night. Hm...Amazing Grace. Unending love. Truly, I am blessed!

Heavenly Moments...on a Monday...

Well, the hours are ticking before the workweek comes to its start and break becomes just a memory. It's been a wonderful break with time to see old & present friends, catch up on sleep, and do a little reading and reflecting.

With it only being a day since the Easter holiday, I am hopeful to carry with me the lessons of my time of sacrifice. Reflection has brought renewal and I am prayerful to begin putting to practice those things learned.

On another note, today has been great. Lazy Mondays make them so much more enjoyable. I woke up at a decent hour, upped & prayed, made breakfast and then caught some morning television. I showered and dressed, receiving a text from my girlfriend to join her and her family for the day.

Packed and ready, I made my way out for the WAXtastic event of the brows--a whole other blog to capture one day. Then I went over to the outlets--something I seldom do. However, today's trip was definitely a treat. Ann Taylor blessed my heart today with its showering blessings in sales. I got my hands on a good number of clothing items and they were quite reasonable. I was good until a salesclerk identified me...sigh! That's when I knew it was time to go. Um, I don't want anyone calling me out by full name and job title. TSK!

I then got over to the fam away from fam with good food and fellowship and am still sitting here. It's been a wonderful day to end the break and make my way back into the last push for the academic year.

Goodbye Spring Break, hello Spring, and fun times for the journeys ahead...

Home is...

No matter how old I get or how many years go by, returning home offers a sense of peace that calms me. When I hit my exit from the interstate, familiarity breathes into my spirit and memories from my youth fill my head. I come home to the smells of what home has always smelled like. I sleep in my "big girl's bed" and the slumber is good. I rest. I relax. I take a break from life's struggles, obstacles and problems. The solitude and unstructured schedule allow me the time needed to refocus and remember that I can make it.

Home brings me back to people in my life who mean so much to me and make me smile. My church family embraces me, my godson runs to my arms, my friends grow and have families that they share with me. The pace of things is fast, yet on time. I drive the town and am astonished by how what was one time farm land is now area shops and highways. Parents of childhood friends take in stories from the past, but we share new stories of the present. I am home.

While I often joke that I could never move back and permanently make this a place of residence, I am always moved by how refreshed and happy I am made during my visits.

Home is where the heart is. On this Easter weekend, I give thanks for these moments in time where friendships are rekindled, special times with mom are received, and quiet moments of thinking are given.

There's nothing like a winding country road with a setting sun. God, I love home.

Chess, A Game Fit for a King

Most of you followers of my blog know me well enough by now to know that I couldn't allow Passion Week to go by without pulling the trump card, some profound thought or epiphany. Not that this is a game for me--given my latter phrase--but words hadn't come to me until last night at church and then bright and early this glorious AM, a day many in the world recognize as Maundy Thursday.

(Work with me and my play on words, which may come off a bit punchy--the title of this piece is after all referring to a game. Although I am not absent from the fact that it's gosh darn early and I should be sleeping like normal people. Instead, the Lord saw fit for me to awaken, giving me a word or two.)

Now, again I ask you to bear with me for a moment as I prepare to shed some light on the game of chess; it's necessary in getting to my point. (SIDE: My brothers continuously have to teach me how to play chess. They're both great players. I think if I played it regularly or had that much of an interest I could be good at it; however, it's always been a game of confusion to me, but many of the men in my life who are dear to me are good chess players. I admire the skill and talent!) SO...This is what the U.S. Chess Federation has to say about a "checkmate":

"The King is the most important piece. When he is trapped, his whole army loses. The King can move one square in any direction. (An exception is 'castling,' a special move that lets a player move two pieces at once--the King and one Rook.) The King may never move into check--that is, onto a square attacked by an opponent's piece...The main goal of chess is to checkmate your opponent's King. The King is not actually captured and removed from the board like other pieces. But if the King is attacked ('checked') and threatened with capture, it must get out of check immediately. If there is no way to get out of check, the position is a 'checkmate,' and the side that is checkmated loses."

I hope you're beginning to read between the lines and formulate the concept or point I'm about to make. Last night at my church's Spring Revival, the speaker for the week, made reference to a painting. It was not his focal point; in fact, he could have gone without mentioning it and still had a powerful message. I'm an avid note taker and try not to miss a beat--there was INDEED purpose for this subtle reference. I came home last night to research it more and stumbled across the picture/painting, which is titled "Checkmate! The King Has One More Move" by Patricia Hulsey. I found a blog that beautifully captures some of the history of sermons and biblical texts that have used this painting as the talking point: http://lmlk.blogspot.com/2007/09/checkmate.html.

In closing, I suppose the greatest theme that has been a recurring theme during my journey of 40 days is the concept of service. When I began my "fasting" season of giving up my items for these 6 weeks, I had my list of items that I was ready to get revelations and blessings. If you recall, last year I refused to give up the television because I couldn't miss "A Raisin in the Sun." This year I gave up the television (amongst other things), and I've done REALLY well. I did have one major moment of weakness, having to see the last episode of The Bachelor when even the internet media was making a huge to do over how things would play out...AND, for the first two weeks, I had to wean myself from the concept or idea of just the habit, so I'd pop in a DVD, justifying that it was not the same thing...WELL, it takes 21 days (researchers say) to develop a habit. Succcessfully, I have broken the habit. I won't lie; I can't wait 'til the 40 days are over...I miss my t.v.! BUT, seriously though, back to SERVICE...

Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice of giving his life because of his compassion for us and our sinful ways. If you've ever read the biblical accounts and historical events leading up to what Christians recognize as Resurrection Sunday, you will see the amount of hate and wickedness displayed by humanity. The people thought they had Jesus, but, if we picture this like a game of chess, God had one more move!

I'm trying to work better at showing strength when under the pressure of man. I no longer avoid conflict as much as I used to. However, in facing issues, I will at times try to appease people at the expense of right---this lack of courage also exudes lack of consistency. My promise is to deny myself daily in order to take up my cross daily (Luke 9:23-24). And, I cannot go wrong, because ALL things work for the good of those who love, trust, and obey Him. He will ALWAYS get the last move.

My issues & problems = checkmate!

Putting aside all things on my list of God to address, the BIGGEST blessing came in his putting the mirror to my face, revealing all I have to continue working toward. I desire to be a reflection of the Son's Light, which will drive me from the walks through darkness.

I am inspired, refreshed, revived, keenly aware that "a workman is worthy of his hire." I am his workman!