Next paragraph...

"according to the psalmist (34:14b), we have to seek peace and pursue it...so i'm in pursuit of nothing but peace today [and everyday]." (THANKS, MO!)

So, I haven't had the opportunity to really take the time to blog. Life got hectic at work and my evenings consisted of me crashing on the bed, the couch, the floor...wherever I could rest my head. Finally, though, things are beginning to come back to normal and I need to re-establish my routine of taking the time to catalog the precious moments of life (haha).

Anyway, so much is going on and I hope that in the month of July I will really be able to remember and take the time to highlight some...

Today I am focusing on the next "paragraph" in this chapter of my life. Often people discuss reaching a new chapter. I wouldn't call where I am a new chapter: so much is the same. However, I suppose it is best captured in the description of finding one's self in a rut or the same routine. I often have this happen where I am just going through the motions without really taking too much time to experience change, fun, or anything meaningful.

In the past week, a lot has happened in the world and personally, so it was a comfort and awakening to see the words I led off with above as my friend's status when I logged in...If I am choosing to maintain where I am, I will have to choose peace. This will mean having to rid my life of clutter or those things taking up space. Her words have echoed all week in other ways, which only solidifies the words were meant for me.

The greatest blessing came in a deacon from my church last night being a blessing and coming directly to me. I've managed over the last six years to be a pew sitter. I attend church, tithe, worship and go home. I am quite supportive with my presence, but I've not given much of my time to volunteering or really finding a place. I was with the choir for a hot minute. I then worked with the athletic ministry, but just kept finding conflict with things, which made me not want to come out...My work schedule really helped me to not have to come for things, so I really was unable to hang. This deacon has been observing me for a while. She always makes it her business to greet me, offer a hello, etc. Her approach was casual yet planned/strategic. When I came in, I saw her and reached out to hug her. She said she wanted to see me and handed me a cute tote bag that quoted Proverbs 3:5. I THANKED her, and she said, "I'll be seeing you on Thursday at 7:30." LOL. She has recruited me for one of the ministries, and while I could be upset or feel like this was a set-up, I'm actually kind of thankful for the push. I've been fighting this for so long and think I'm ready to step out there and try again.

My ministry has always been important to me. And, while it is not dead, I feel I have kind of buried it in this heap of other priorities and excuses that keep me from having to address it. My hope is that this push forward will allow me in the remainder of this chapter to finish off the paragraphs that will move me into the next phase. I am excited!

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

Recently, we held honor assemblies for all the grade levels. This consisted of recognizing honor roll, attendance, independent reading, etc., etc. Each ceremony went very well, and the students were pretty well-behaved. It was great to have a moment where positive things were being discussed about our children. Too often we spend time disciplining and complaining about the things our children do not do. If I could show you all of the certificates we signed, you'd be amazed. I had hand cramps to prove how big that number was--pain worth enduring!

On one of the days, I took a moment to share a brief story with our students about Lou Gehrig. The story was about when he went to visit a little boy in the hospital who was sick with polio and had pretty much given up on life. When the little guy saw his hero come in his room for a visit, he promised Mr. Gehrig he'd try to walk again if he'd make a homerun in the game he'd be playing later that day. The deal was made. Of course, Gehrig was a bit of a mess and worried for the promise he had made. What if he could not meet his end of this bargain??? Fortunately, Gehrig knocked two homeruns that day! Years later when Gehrig was honored for his career and was in the final stages of his horrible muscular disease, the little boy he'd visited dropped his crutches, walked to him and hugged him. It was a powerful moment for Gehrig, and continues to be an inspirational story for those who come across it.

The questions posed to the audience at the ceremony were: Who's hit a homerun (at some time in your life) for you? And, are you striving for homeruns in your life daily? I reminded them that each day someone's hitting us a homerun (e.g., parents, spouses, friends, teachers, etc.). We often take these sacrifices for granted. At times, the homeruns do not directly impact us, but are still done to show us encouragement and to model proper behavior.

To transition a bit, I had to smile recently about a status post by one of my friends on a popular social site, which read: "When life throws you a curve ball, duck..." Having had some moments with this whole baseball theme for a few days now, I asked myself, "Lord, where's this theme taking me???" I think it was the comment one of my friend's friends later posted, which made me laugh hard, but put it all into perspective: "Don't 'duck.' Step back, swing and hit a f@ing homerun!!!"

It's baseball season, and I am in the game in so many ways personally, professionally and socially. Some curve balls have come my way more recently, and I was at a point of just wanting to duck. However, the adversary would want me to do just that: duck, give up, show out, protest...Hurt people hurt people.

I'm directly feeling the blows by an individual right now. While I could go the level of entertaining the slander, I will take the higher road, praying for the pain to cease and the healing process to begin. I must face up to the consequences that came through the (bad) choices I made from that season.

Call it a trade in teams, a time for reconditioning & training, or more listening to the coach and studying the plays...Whatever the case, I am working to hit homeruns with every ball thrown. As a result, God is blessing me and allowing the doors of opportunity to open wider and wider. It is a sweet season, and I hum the familiar tune, "Take me out to the ball game. Take me out with the crowd..."

God's provision continues to manifest itself and console me in several ways. I stop and remind myself of these deep words: "I have to change my definition of success to match what I know to be true about God...I am parking my mind on the truth." My bases are loaded; there is no time for ducking or drawing conclusions that would shut down my abilities or others. The goal's to be better for God, to be better for me, to be better for those I come in contact with--And, yes, I just ended that last statement with a preposition.

Telephone

A random moment in mi vida loca...

Somehow the conversations I have with people during the day never quite seems to capture the essence of what main points I was trying to make. A student is called to the main office or Guidance, they come in and sit, and then there is dialogue.

Here's what I mean:

Me: Hi, Sue. Come in and take a seat. Do you know why you were called down?

X (we'll call our student Susie): Um...No...

Me: Well, think about it. Is there anything that would give me concern or concern others, having them to refer you to me? behavior? misconduct?

Susie: Well, I didn't throw food...today. [big smile]

Me: [laughing] That would be correct. You're currently serving lunch detention. Let's try again.

Susie: [processing. thinking. trying to make-up stuff] Are you talking about that class situation?

Me: [blind-sided info; student about to incriminate self] Well, perhaps. Share with me your take on the situation.

Susie: Well, all I did was laugh when the teacher asked me about something. It was kind of stupid that I got sent to ETR.

Me: Well, you may think it is stupid, but you clearly were distracting the instruction, which is why you were sent...Okay. Let me help you, Susie. Let's think about the bus...Anything going on there?

Susie: The bus? Um...no...

Me: [Sigh] Okay. Have you been saying or doing anything on the bus that would be offensive or inappropriate?

Susie: A lot of students do.

Me: Yes, but we're talking about you, dear. Anything?

Susie: No...

Me: All right, Susie. Let me be a little more specific. Are you making racial and inappropriate comments?

Susie: Oh...That? Well, I make comments around my friends, but it's not directed at the people or groups I'm talking about.

[There is more dialogue along these lines pulling the information out. The point is finally made but then there is that special moment of driving home the point...]

Me: Susie, what are you wearing around your neck?

Susie: A cross.

Me: What does it represent?

Susie: Christianity. Jesus.

Me: Sooooo...Do you think your actions are reflecting what you represent and display to others about your faith walk?

Susie: No.

I'm feeling like I just rocked this conversation totally. We finish up with the disciplinary consequence, and I let the student know their parent will be notified. We get to the end of the day; hours have escaped me and I've yet to make that call. Before leaving, I pick up the telephone and call the parent.

As soon as I share who I am, I can hear the reserve in the voice of the parent. And, as the conversation plays out, I realize I'm caught once again in the childhood game "telephone" (also called Chinese Whispers). You know the game where everyone gets in a circle or line, and a person whispers in the ear of the person next to him/her, who then passes the same message, and on and on until it reaches the last person who is supposed to announce the whispered phrase? Usually by the time it has reached the last person, the message has been altered, skewed, and badly worded, making everyone laugh hysterically. There are times where there are people in the game who will intentionally change up the message for kicks and giggles; however, everyone should strive to keep the message as in tact as possible.

Well in my game of telephone, the student often times has not passed the message correctly. They take and pick in order to be excused from the wrath they know they deserve to endure. They do an awesome job of twisting the message to displace the anger and have the parent then question my choices for addressing the issue, making it appear their child was picked on...This diversion of the purpose for the phone call ends up taking anywhere from 5 to 25 minutes of correcting and sharing what actually was said before we can even begin to address the purpose for the call and discuss the consequence.

In the end, it typically is fine, but Daaaaaang...

This is just random thinking for tonight.

I suppose I am giving an extreme example of mixed issues. There are just times when I wish parents wouldn't go straight into defense mode and could accept that the calls on discipline or issues without the drama, understanding the purpose is certainly never to falsely accuse or torment. Rather, there is legitimacy and concern. Trust me. I have other things I would much prefer to do with my day than make calls about problems to parents. The goal's to bring forth responsible, thoughtful citizens. And, I won't even go into the whole sexting, which is now replacing texting...Yes, I'll allow you to imagine what those conversations of recent are like. It's another entry. And, if you are aware of the term, google it.

So glad tomorrow's Friday! The weekend is needed.

Heaviness

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.

~ Kenji Miyazawa

I would be lying if I sat here and shared that all was well and life was just peachy. In my own personal world, life is fine. I have found myself in a bit of a down atmosphere, which is affecting my spirit in many ways. However, there have been continuous words providing lessons to the experiences...

This week a high school senior in our division committed suicide. On the same day, one of our beloved colleagues in the systems lost her battle to cancer. I arrive home today to have messages from my best friend's mom; his boss, a CEO for Freddie Mac had committed suicide...What on earth? (I don't mean to play on the pun with this being Earth Day.)

I am swamped this week more than normal with assignments that need to be taken care of...Yet, nothing seems all that important. I pressed my way out to Bible Study this evening, and many blessings came from it.

God's given me three major messages regarding the issues in my life right now. I'll share them in the hopes that comfort may be brought to you as well with whatever may be going on in your life...

For the Lord doew not abandon anyone forever. Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion according to the greatness of his unfailing love. For he does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow. (Lamentations 3:31-33)

There is no opportunity without opposition. There is no "open door" before us without there being mand adversaries to obstruct our entering.

Are You Robbing God? You shall not steal (Exodus 20:15). We're all selfish to some degree. But don't let that keep you from striving to give yourself to others and to the Lord.

Grace, Mercy & Peace be unto you.

Comfort in Times of Sorrow...

"For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief." (v.18) Ecclesiastes 1:1-18

It is amazing (my new word for the week) how awesome God is during times of grief & sorrow. Today, I received some sad news on someone in my life who has cancer. It was totally unexpected and the person just happened to go to the doctor this weekend due to back pain. Who knew within a 48 hour period we would now be talking about surgery, leave, etc., etc.? This is someone who is so strong for everyone else and given her/his faith, the soft question of "Why me?" made its way to the conversation as we sat and tears streamed. I could not answer the question then and still am unable to now.

I'm home for the evening and settled in to take a moment to read my devotional for the day. The above scriptural passage was given, and the topic dealt with understanding why bad things happen. We may never be able to answer the question of why suffering and pain exists, but we fortunately are able to put our trust and confidence in the Father. "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy does come in the morning!" (Psalm 30:5)

With every testimony and story that comes into my life, I realize how blessed and fortunate I am. I do not take for granted anything He's given me. I desire to have a purpose-driven life that will not be about my personal agenda, but His perfect will.

Yes, I am a Messy Christian, but Thank God, I am aware and desire to grow.