Unfailing Love

Nothing can ever prepare you for the death of someone you love or care for deeply. Death is a tough thing, but I would say it is even harder when unexpected.

 Thursday morning I had just finished up with morning duty and announcements when my phone dinged with a text message alert. The message was from my childhood friend, MPB, and it read: "My dad just died. We don't know what to do. Plz pray." I ran into my office and immediately called her. Surely, I was misreading this...but I was not. We had a fast conversation through crying. I sat in my office stunned, sad, confused; it all happened so quickly.

 It's a very surreal feeling. Even in going over to their home today, it did not feel like he was gone but just not in from work or running errands. Although he was a quiet man, he loved picking and joking when I would come to visit. We'd talk about work, life, sports, family...He genuinely cared, and I would always joke, reminding anyone present: "I am the favorite child!" He'd smile; his biological children would comment.

 This evening I went to a service at the church where I spent my early years. We celebrated the life of another one of my father figures who is still living. After the service he came and gave me a big hug, and thanked my mother and me for coming. He shared how touched he was that I would come home to be there.

 These two men may never realize the positive impact they've had in my life. Growing up, they both played significant roles in my life even if I was mainly hanging with their children or naturally gravitated toward their wives, who are considered second Moms to me.

 While it hurts and hot tears stream down my face, I remember. I have peace even in the midst of the hurt, and know God will heal all wounds. I am blessed for and by the season; I am a better person.

 I meditate on these words: Lamentations 3:31-32-" For no one is abandoned by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, He also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love."

Kick, Stetch, and Be Fifty...

Somebody said that it couldn’t be done,
But, he with a chuckle replied
That "maybe it couldn’t," but he would be one
Who wouldn’t say so till he’d tried.

~ Edgar Guest

Remembering that today our President joined the half century club. He makes fifty look good. From his six pack to how he loves his family, he proves that with hard work and determination dreams do come true.

So on today, here is to you, Mr. President! A little humor and underlying truths that even at fifty, life is good...

If You Can't Handle the Heat...

...get out of the kitchen.

Tonight I needed a reminder to gain control of my life...to find courage and motivation...to overcome fear and obstacles...to strengthen the growing passion I have for my destiny.

I needed a moment to appreciate the people in my life, embrace life's turning points, and recognize the Gift of the Spirit.

It was time to walk away from the piles of papers on my desk at work and breathe. There are moments that even though all is good we know we're running down and growing weary. Although happy and excited, the day's rituals were getting redundant. As a result, I was losing speed and flavor. The highs from vacation a month ago to Boston were gone...I needed inspiration.

Somebody prayed for me.

(There may have also been a silent plead or two on my own behalf.)

And, He answered. In His own way that always makes me step back and become amazed...

I ran into the local Walmart with a plan to bake cookies and needed to pick up the ingredients. My heart wasn't in it, but I made a promise to some colleagues that I would. I managed to make record time considering it being the first of the month and prime time. I glanced at the family size roasts on sale but didn't want to add to my pile or waste food. My inner, lazy self said, "Pick up Chick-fil-a." That was all the convincing I needed, yet my body had no desire for any fast food.

In my car, I sat for a moment conflicted that I had not purchased the chicken. I almost went back in to get one, but God was persistent and told me gently to just go home. "But what am I going to eat?!" I argued with a bit of irritation.

Once home, I was drained. I looked around and he nudged me to go to the freezer. "Huh?"

It was in the kitchen I begin to cast all my cares. I thawed some meat, turned on the oven, and got to work. My bf, VLM, was taking care of upgrading her phone and was headed over to assit me with cookie-baking and watching the final episode of The Bacholorette. My phone rang and MFL, my grad buddy who is a principal out in Colorado, called to share with me the news of her pregnancy.

With each captured minute of the evening, God worked His blessings, showering and restoring. It took some "heat" in the kitchen to bring me back to a place I love. I actually forgot how much I enjoy cooking...We'll see how long this lasts!

Inspiring insights.

He restored my belief in myself. He gave me confirmation. He made it plain simply by putting me on a task I absolutely deplore in order to show me He has a plan for my life (Jeremiah 29:11). He reminded me that He is in control and that I do not need to stress but keep to "cooking" no matter how hot I feel it is getting. The final product will carry a sweet aroma and have a flavorful taste!

Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving...

There is nothing in the world that you cannot do
When you believe in you, who are beautiful
Yeah, you, who are brilliant
Yeah, you, who are powerful
Yeah, you, who are resilient
-India Arie




I've learned this week it is about our posture, not our position...I am loving my 30's and feel incredibly blessed to be in the place He has me in right now. As I grow and better take stances in the things I know to be true, I further align myself in His will, allowing myself and others to be elevated. AMEN!

Great week of Vacation Bible School...I will continue to seek (His) truth.

Extra! Extra!

For the record, I am too nice.

For the record, you're so extra...

There are times when I freeze up in conversations with people to avoid conflict. I often fear imposing my feelings upon them. This trait has its benefits as well as its drawbacks. My gut reaction and thoughts would truly send people over the edge. How do I know? Well, when pushed beyond limit, I tend to deliver the uncut. I've been called "cut-throat" plenty of times. I know some of my childhood friends could easily testify to this and would likely be surprised to know how reserved I have become in my ripe old age. Even some of my mentees and students would debate there is nothing quiet about me, but they're a whole other case and don't count.

Often, I choose not to tell people about themselves because no one is perfect. I am no one's judge and at the end of the day we will all be held accountable. I also choose not to discuss or share deeper truths because once I have released it to God, I really have let it go and moved on (in an unphased and okay manner)...We cannot stay off the path forever and life is too short with too many great things promised to us than to struggle and mope around sadly about isolated happenings. Wouldn't I be going against everything I know as a believer to go into a phased mode by something insignificant? It would be one thing if I was still a child, but as an adult it is beyond me to hold a grudge or behave childishly.

However, this moves into another important life lesson: Not everyone is going to be best friends in this walk. This is likely the hardest lesson I have had to learn--as a child and (now) adult. I especially have to know this in the my position through work. The motto is: It's not personal; it's business! This serves as a truth for work, church, sorority life, etc. We can believe and invest in the mission and vision without having to discuss anything outside that. In other words, at work there are a lot of folks who are great at what they do when it comes to our clientele; however, there are several that I would never spend time with outside of work simply because we have different intersts and values.

A lot to preface, but much to get off the mind...

Today I held my tongue. Not because I am upset or sad as you have told yourself, but because, quite frankly, I do not care. I held my tongue to spare your feelings because you really have not taken the time to consider mine...Your only worry is about what your choices have done to make me respond the way I am responding to you now when you never really considered that this could be the outcome. (A logical outcome I might add.) If you have made a decision in your heart about where you are being led, do not worry about what I or others think. It is not up for discussion, justification, or even advice. Just do it. As it turns out, we have to work together because we belong to the same organization with similar passions; therefore, I will respect and be cordial to you. Otherwise, I really have no other need because outside of that I have lost all respect...And that is okay.

At the end of the day, it is safe to say that the issue that surfaced became less complicated the moment you shared you needed out. Respectfully, I accepted, reflected, prayed and put it on the alter. Deeper truth - it's been done. I only wish you knew me well enough to know that there were other items and factors in my life that surfaced before you and were there after you that may have contributed to any "pain" I have experienced in the past year. But, if it helps to add me to the list of those you've managed to push away, I'll never argue otherwise.