Shhh...Excuse me, but your thoughts are too loud.

The familiar idiom, "a penny for your thoughts," comes to mind when I consider how much we now lack modesty and dignity when it comes to social networks and sites. Technology, what have you done to us?!?!

As I log into some of these sites, I am hit in the face with statuses and posts--millions! Some have substance, making you think, smile, laugh, and even comment or reply to the statements...but there are those other postings that just make you wonder: WHY? WHAT ON EARTH? WAS ALL OF THAT REALLY NECESSARY?

Like that awkward feeling you get when you can smell funk and want to make sure it's not your armpits or breath, I find myself in one of those predicaments when I see the many thoughts that get posted. I am caused to question what others may be thinking about some of my postings. And, I can't help but wonder if I am on some whole other level of thinking where this is truly not a big deal--just me overreacting. Perhaps, if I didn't spend so much time on the websites myself, I would not be reading or following all that foolishness, or sitting here distressed over it all.

I have toyed with the possibility of deactivating my accounts, so I won't have to read or see the crazy debates and idleness of those around me who are on the webpages what appears to be all day and night. The contemplation, though, is as far as it goes. I debate with myself and determine that I should not have to end the communications and networks I have with friends and family due to what really may only be a small population out there who happen to be getting under my skin.

What is also perplexing is the fact that there are coworkers, children, and people I have never met or barely know who request being a part of my friends list--WHY I question...I know I lead a pretty quiet and private life (in many ways) to those who do not know me well, but I am again forced to wonder if people are just nosey and only desire to want to know a little bit more about me and mi vida loca.

Recently while visiting with my mother, she asked me to go into her account for one of the websites she is on in order to up her security settings. As I was doing this, she had me to smile with concerns about what her friends could view/see of the pages of others. "I don't want anyone seeing that girl's status posts, talking all crazy and cussing. And did you see that one picture of the girl who is naked?!?!" Okay. Okay. Firstly, the picture she was referring to was a profile picture of one of her friend's friends posting to this lady's page. The whole cussing and profanity only adds more justification, though, to what I am talking about. I reassured my mother that none of her friends could see these posts; they did not reflect her and were not on her own page.

AND, I have to say the worst is when people on your friends list call, email/inbox, or text you in order to talk about the postings: "Did you see what I posted and what such and such had the nerve to respond back with? The nerve! Who does she think she is?" I've had a few people I work with to come to me after posting things with questions about whether or not they've gone too far with their words and thoughts. And then we have those who merely love the gossip and post wars or debates that end up on pages--cyber bullying is not only in the world of children, people! I see it more with adults sad enough.

But, really...I think about the people on here who have parents, loved ones, colleagues, bosses, etc. who have access to their pages and can see when the person has a stint with depression, anger, happiness, and every other emotion. I suppose my plea is that we get back to a point where we can realize everything thought or felt does not have to be put out there for all to see--especially on a social network. I am not interested in the fact that you will be gone for five days at such-and-such hotel with no one to watch your pet, but I am sure there are some thieves out there who appreciate that tip-off. And, no, I do not need to know about your bathroom habits, disappointment with other people on the site, or that you're now removing friends. DISCRETION...Oh, how I love that word!

And, maybe I am the hypocrite as I pour out my soul on this network--a public diary? Well, actually, I came to terms a long time ago that anything I post I must be willing to have comfort with, but I feel as though I am "posting" and venting my thoughts in the appropriate place--a blog. I mean, really, if you need to get your thoughts down make a blog, get a journal, or consider tweeting. Just like I do not care to see two people groping one another--get a room--I do not wish to see your loud, vulgar, embarrassing, private thoughts. You do not have to a role model, but you should consider what type of character you're presenting with the programs and groups you're choosing to like and join, as well as all those thoughts you keep pinning up.

Don't worry. If you're reading this post and happen to feel like this message applies to you, I truly do not judge or think less of you (smile). The fact of the matter is the only person I need to work on controlling the actions of is me. Plus, I know I have been guilty more than a few times of some of the very items I am protesting.

Wooooooosaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!

Final thoughts: Watch what you post, share, or vent about--it may make you feel worse.

Connect the Dots

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. dot 1 - Generosity
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... dot 2 - Encouragement
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.. dot 3 - Support
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.. dot 4 - Joy...
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.. dot 5 - Love . .
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My intention is not to change but inspire you.

Do you remember as a child the amount of activities in school requiring you to connect-the-dots? Perhaps, it was your parent or family member who liked to buy you activity books with the game.

Being a person who loved puzzles, the idea of putting dots together seldom seemed bothersome. In fact, there were times when I found it a relief to have mindless work, where I could get out some crayons or color pencils and show my creativity and skills. On a few occasions I would become a little perturbed with how easy this game of making a picture was (e.g., knowing it was of a Christmas tree or banana), but I still went along and did the assignment or went through the entire activity book.

So, as an adult, what on earth could a game like connect-the-dots have to do with my world now? While I am an educator, that is not the purpose. For two weeks in a row, I have attended church an had the message to speak loud volumes to me about how I am living, what I am doing, and (more importantly) answering the questions I continue to visit in prayer. At times, it is pretty mind-boggling...almost a bit scary...yet in the same moment there is relief.

This idea takes two directions...

There are current dots in my life I continue to try to connect, and I feel as though the "big" picture is not turning into the masterpiece it's meant to be. For me, this hurts because like a good child and student I am putting everything in it (e.g. love, support, etc.) but can't seem to have a nice return. Yep, I know that is screaming rip that puppy up and move on to an easier puzzle or new challenge. The stubbornness in me desires to keep at it, thinking that perhaps the fault isn't in the creation but the one trying to do the puzzle...The truth is, though, maybe the issue isn't puzzle or the person doing the puzzle but that it's not meant to be solved.

In another thought, there is beauty in knowing that I don't ever have to worry about the BIG picture because as long as I am faithful in following God's will and walking in my purpose, the dots connecting and path followed--the good and bad--will lead me to the masterpiece He desires. And, isn't that really what it is all about?

I am defeated but never destroyed. I am tested but will not grow tired.

There is a systematic order to the game connect-the-dots, and for this I am grateful. There is a lesson in discipline, obedience, and following. As puzzling as it is, we've got to keep at the bigger game called life, knowing that it was never meant that we live life in sadness, depression or with a feeling of worthlessness. If I cannot be of good or use to another's dot connecting, I've got to go back to my own and ensure I am moving to the proper dot on the page.

First I had to find the boat...

Recently, in a television interview on Wendy Williams, Jennie Garth shared information about the relationship between her and her husband. They've been married for quite a few years but were together several before getting married. Garth shared that her husband confessed that he needed to "make sure the boat was strong enough to cross the ocean."

What a powerful and enlightening thought for anyone considering "sailing". I mean here is an analogy that really does reflect the journey of marriage--through the sunny days of calm and peace at sea to the storms that come, tossing the boat and beating it with harsh waves...Isn't that a relationship? Can the boat endure? Like the boat, a marriage "carries" precious cargo and there is a destination or purpose.

So, this quote has stayed with me since the day the interview aired, and in many ways I can relate due to the fact that similar words have parted the lips of the man I am talking to. And, in many ways, I agree. We move forward knowing who and what we desire in this life--each other, but this process is quite a bit of a slow one (in my eyes), which leads me to question how confident we are in this boat's abilities. Maybe it isn't the boat but its sails, or the color, or the wood chosen? I don't know...While I work to remain patient, there are truths I know as a woman and in having close male friends. I suppose the final word will be that of God's, and I have to trust that no matter the outcome all things are working for me (Romans 8:28).

Cleanliness is next to...

In keeping with the saying, today's major task and focus was a physical cleaning of house. As I go through this process of purging, putting away and storing things, I am reminded that with new, fresh surroundings there is likely going to be some form of change coming. I welcome it. I welcome the next chapter and journey--whether it be in my personal or professional life. I feel it and know it is time.

On that note, I am going to rest and reflect on the promises of the Lord. I know that because I have taken what seems like a normal and natural process of just cleaning there is something bigger coming...While I may feel it has been delayed, I know there is something I have to learn in the bigger scheme of things...something I'm being prepared for...Obedience is far greater than sacrifice.

Here's the J. Garth interview from Wendy...

Albeit, a year ago today pop legend sensation, Michael Jackson, passed away, ipads and the iphone 4 are sweeping the nation, and there is still a big ol' oil spill in the Gulf, summer vacation is the only thing that has my attention. The excitement is being motivated and spurred by the fact that I'm actually out of the office for a few days--the longest amount of time I believe I've ever taken at one time, which is pretty sad! But, hey, new beginnings for all things, eh?

So, I must admit that since Monday afternoon, the days have been productive, fun, and memorable. Let's recap...


MONDAY *** Eating out once a week...

One of my closest girlfriends and I have decided that once a week we'll be dining at different spots in the Hampton Roads area, and our first stop: FIVE GUYS. While she'd eaten at the infamous location, this was my first time. What's terrible is I have a FIVE GUYS in walking distance from where I live, but I've yet to have the opportunity to go. The burger and fry joint is supposedly better than that other popular burger spot I frequent (with the Golden arches). Some even debate what could have been for this business had it begun before the latter mentioned spot. Either way, being the lover of cheeseburgers that I am, I was pretty pleased. The peanut oil added a nice flavor enhancement to the burger and fries. However, I was not pleased with the malt vinegar that they encourage patrons to dip their fries in--no thanks!








TUESDAY *** Maxwell together with Jill Scott in VA Beach...

Let's just say both performances were awesome and simply memorable. We were out there in record breaking temperatures, and I have a whole new appreciation for musicians. Jill and Maxwell were dressed in outfits that just looked hot but they both made the tasks of entertaining an audience look easy as 1-2-3.




WEDNESDAY *** Productivity at its best...

I took the day to knock out some of the many things on my to do list. I did not let the getting home in the 1 o'clock hour from the concert due to part of the bridge being closed stop me from an early start. From going to get my bridesmaid dress tailored to grocery shopping -- GO ME, the list kept getting items scratched through and marked off.

The high point of the day? Well, I have more recently been experimenting with stylists. I hate getting my hair done, mainly because of how long I end up under the chair. My favorite brag story to tell others is about the time when I went to this shop, arriving at least 20 minutes before my appointment, which was like at 10 AM. I did not leave the salon until like 3:45 PM. The woman who did my hair left, went out to lunch, had me under the dryer for like 500 hours!!! While my hair turned out FABULOUS that day, I did not go back to hair salon for a good 3 or 4 years after that experience. And, if it's not the time I'm dealing with, it is the costs. Apparently, my hair is "long", thus I get charged more.

WELL, I've located a spot that is owned by Dominicans. They speak no English but can do hair--quickly and at a decent rate. Sooooo, I figured I'd get my hair done in the midst of my errand running. Problem 1 came when the woman who has been doing my hair was not in the shop. Fail. I shared with the little girl, who spoke broken English, what I needed done. She relayed it to the stylist, and they immediately had me to go back to get my hair washed. However, what was shared was due to my hair being long I'd be charged more---OH NO NO NO! I expressed that on Mondays and Wednesdays--in my own broken Spanish--I always got discounts and today should be no different: viente cinco?! "Si, viente cinco," replied the little girl after going back and forth between myself and the stylist. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...Problem 2 came when I had finally settled in for the hair washing and began to immediately notice how warm it was. They're doing some construction in the shop, so I figured that was why the doors were all opened. The more I sat I realized there was no AIR CONDITION in that piece. The cool/luke warm water on my scalp was refreshing. Additionally, I had my drink from the breakfast I had picked up. It was when I got under that dryer I began to feel "hace mucho calor"--crazy! I had to get under the dryer TWICE. By the second time, there was sweat dripping me off me...

My retelling this lovely story will never do justice to actually being there. All I can say is, I had to rededicate my life to Christ, knowing if Hell felt any bit as hot as that shop did, I did not want ANY of it.

THURSDAY *** Adventures in Colonial Williamsburg...

After an uneventful day inside, I decided to catch a bite to eat in Colonial Williamsburg and a take a walk with one of my friends. It was SO hot out--warmer than when we did the concert, but we had a ball being goofy and skipping along the cobblestone and unpaved walk-ways...These are the days when I really get why I love where I live and beauty of Virginia...







Yay for summer vacation!!!