Damaged Goods...a fairy tale...

Once upon a time in a land not unlike the one we know now, there lived a very beautiful princess. This princess had quite a bit going for her--smarts, beauty, great family, etc. She had the type of life others wanted, but few knew of her midnight terror...

One day she went to the King after having a sleepless evening dealing with a night terror and said, "While there are many to choose from, I am tired of kissing frogs, Master. I realize I do not have to be in the state I am in and have vowed to be a little more picky with the frogs that come my way. Because if I am going to kiss them, it better be worth it...tired of settling...frustrated with projects."

"All this time I have been seeking You to teach me the way to do this thing right we call 'living'. You've modeled and revealed it to me. It is in the conversations I have with you regularly. It is my dependency, persistence and expectancy that will bring me through this."

The King looked at her and replied, "We also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance. My daughter, while you may be feeling frustrated that your time has not come, I can assure you that your diligence and faithfulness will soon bring to you the desires of your heart. Thank you for bringing your cares and worries to me. Just know it is never my intention for you to hurt or desire to give up."

The princess wept at his feet and he asked, "Why do you weep?"

She answered, "Because I am damaged goods. That is why I am in the state I am in..."

The King wrapped his arms around her to provide comfort, put her chin within the palm of his hand to slightly lift her head in order to have their eyes meet. "So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."

This is how the story will end for tonight, but do not think it tragic. The beauty of this piece is the PEACE that came on an early day in September 2009. A promise, or covenant, of understanding established that something good is coming. The truth of the matter is the answer to HOW MUCH MORE is MORE THAN ENOUGH. And, because of who He is there will be no letting down with the final product.

Damaged Goods is simply an oxymoron, and I will leave you with a lesson in paradoxes: "God often digs wells of joy with the spade of sorrow."

Do More...

Recently, my boss and I planned a retreat for our leadership team. We desired to set the tone by having a few icebreakers at the beginning. One of the activities called for a response to a phrase or question. I happened to get the one that asked that I share my life's slogan(s). Well, two quotes/slogan immediately surfaced: A. Find the good and praise it; and B. Just do it! I did not share both quotes. I focused more on the one that stresses finding the good and praising it, which overlapped into the second quote that's a popular phrase from the familiar brand Nike.

As I read over Proverbs 24 today, the verses to stand out for me were verses 16-18: "For though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again but the wicked are brought down by calamity. Do not gloat when your enemy falls; when he stumbles, do not let your heart rejoice, or the LORD will see and disapprove and turn his wrath away from him."

This goes back to motives...As I shared in another entry, this has been a recurring theme for me--one that has convicted me. As I read in a great blog about proverbs today, initial thoughts in reading this chapter are of relief. You see your faults and know that God will carry you; however, I immediately tripped/stumbled over the words that would follow about our "enemies". I know there are times when I hope I'll prevail to prove or make a point to others. The reminder and truth is that should not be of my concern. In fact, if I get real with myself, I should go back up to one of the earlier verses in the chapter that also stood out while reading:

"By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures" (vs. 3, 4).

I am working to establish my home--literally and figuratively. I realize that in the settings where I dwell, I possess the power to affect the atmosphere, which can be one filled in those virtuous things spoken of in the Bible and valued by God, or the very same things He brings up in contrast to these positive characteristics.

On Sunday, our pastor challenged us to be the best we could be, doing more to overcome the Enemy known as Average. John L. Mason is the author of a book, which preaches and teaches to this type of stinking thinking. We must strive to be excellent and with the right, proper motives--not to prove anyone wrong or show off, receive fame, etc. etc.

When we work to give our best, it just makes life better for all involved. I'm stiving to do and be more...in every area of my life. This summer has been a season of being stretched. I feel myself expanding.

Living Life Skillfully

The latest battle has been doing with a cheerful heart. While I am often doing things for others at work, with children I mentor, and in my personal life, I am not always enthusiastic about doing it. In fact, I have a few close people in my life who I typically turn to in order to complain about why I feel things tend to fall in my lap to take care of or get done. It is hard trying not to show the frustration, exhaustion or irritation when it comes to needing people to step up to the plate and JUST DO IT. If you have the ability to and can help somebody, just do it...It's what I tend to model for others regularly. However, this week I was convicted due to my outer and inner not aligning. I do, but I knew in my heart I was going through the motions, expecting something in return, and becoming angry because I desired credit or appreciation in return.

I am reminded of Proverbs 19:21, "You can make many plans, but the LORD'S purpose will prevail."

Regardless of what those around me may be doing, God's only concerned with my motives and actions. It is my desire to please him. And, fortunately for me--all of us--he cares enough that regardless of how simple we may act or respond to his will, he will still take us to that place of fulfilling our purposes.

As I come to the last week of studying Proverbs, perhaps what I've been constantly reminded of in this book are the following: fellowship/actions with others, practical instruction for life, preparation for any day of the week on the hour, and (of course) the importance of wisdom and applying it.

God is my source. When I think of everything He's sacrificed and given me, I'm reminded that I ought to give my very BEST in everything...not for glory, benefits, handouts, or anything else, but simply because I can because God has equipped me to be able to do so. I want to be the best me I can be because I was created by the best there ever was...Why wouldn't I want to showcase Him in my swagger (Laughing)?!

And, it is funny or ironic: The more we give, serve and do, the more we're blessed. When we're obedient, life comes together. Why simply exist in the world??? LIVE!

I am skilled in living (for him), which makes every challenge or situation I face one that can be managed, achieved and overcame!

Being a Wise Guy (or Gal)

Consider this: "It's God that answers."

What comes to mind with the statement? Does it give you peace? Is it a bit of an indifferent feeling, or do you feel I need to offer a little more before you can respond to the questions?

My sarcasm has a way of interrupting progress and hurting feelings, especially when I get on a roll. My dealings with children often causes me to be aware of my mouth and I remind myself of the importance of modeling good behavior for the adults and children I connect with daily. However, the reality is I do have my moments...There is a little wise guy/gal in all of us if we are honest with ourselves. In thought, tongue, or actions, it is the wise guy who gets the laughs and attention--not only in life, but on the main stage...With such glorification along with some of the perks that come in putting others in their place, who wouldn't want to have a small measure of "wise guy" in them?

Proverbs 16 starts out with some peaceful truths that should hopefully remind us that he will answer when we're "wise"--the right way--in him:

"To human beings the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the proper answer of the tongue. People may think all their ways are pure, but motives are weighed by the LORD. Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans." (Proverbs 16:1-3)

To transition due to my being a little behind with my posts each day, Proverbs 17 discusses the positive traits and characteristics of a friend. A familiar passage is verse 17:

"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."

What type of wise guy are you? Are you using your words to hurt, put down, kill & destroy, OR do you put truth out there in order to strengthen your neighbor?

Remember the say growing up, "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all"? I think we need to remember to check our attitudes at the door in order to be better for those in our environments. Working to be more appreciative and cheerful makes life so much sweeter.

For work, we're aiming for continuous improvement in several areas. And, while the heart of my organization is learning and teaching, the reality is nothing can be accomplished without the establishment of strong, solid relationships. Relationships require us to keep wisdom in view in making decisions in the best interest of others. From strong relationships are such descriptors as trust, love, joy, peace, kindness--fruits of the spirit that are spoken of in Galatians.

If your tree is bearing "bad" fruit, perhaps you're not putting the right things into it that are needed for proper growth: a little (holy) water, some food (daily bread/the Word), and of course "son"light.

What type of "wise" guy/gal are you? One who is wise in the Lord and attracting/drawing in others to Christ, or are you avoiding the Good Director's plan for your life in order to have a show full of drama???

The awesome thing about a journey with Christ is he always allows for second, third, and fourth performances to perfect your role. And, he won't recast you if your motives are right and you desire him to be in control.

Each day we're on some one's main stage. Work to have your performance feel right the first time in order to not feel like you have to do it over and over. This comes with studying the lines to become the best wise guy you can be.

Break a leg!

Cross Eyed...for Jesus

As I continue to read a chapter out of Proverbs a day, I realize some subtle things which are likely the obvious but certainly okay to have manifest when reflecting on these daily readings. This is a journey in life where believers are encouraged to "walk by faith, not by sight" (2 Corinthians 5:7). This is how we're to make decisions about the difficult situations and choices that face us daily. From jobs to relationships, walking in faith is how we make hard decisions about life.

It is easier to accept putting major decisions in God's hands, but there is the question of how to approach simple, daily choices/decisions. Are we still seeking God? And, is it more of a walking by sight than faith? In reading Proverbs, it can become a bit hazy given the instructions and simple statements on living. However, one of the MAJOR themes from the book of Proverbs goes back to Chapter 1, verse 7: "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction."

In satisfying the deepest desires of my heart, I'm working to better walk in faith. Today's message at church was a powerful depiction and analogy of our faith walk compared to Jesus'. We all have our tree, or cross, to bear; however, it is important to move from the tree into the cave--Christ was buried in a cave and we're to nestle in our caves, our secret places, to seek Him--in order to move beyond: Christ's resurrection/our triumphs...I'm giving the really QUICK bite to what was a deep and powerful message, but I'm hoping that I'm capturing some of the highlights, which will allow for further study and excitement in your own study time.

Currently, I am seeking faith in many--if not all--areas of my life. At the forefront, I am thinking of my "first" date from last evening. First dates have a tendency to be awkward and an annoyance, yet at the same time exciting and what could lead to major impacts for the future...It was a good first date. I'm walking in faith and keeping sight of the cross along the way.

What Have You Done for Me Lately?

Chapters 13 & 14 have no direct central themes. With each line or verse, there is a simple statement of good and not good. Essentially, the two chapters focus on contrasting good and evil in a variety of different scenarios from how we govern to what we say.

Last night I went and enjoyed the new movie G.I. Joe, seeing another picture of good versus evil. As I watched, I kept asking with the plot development, "What's the point? Is this drama necessary?" However, I am the type of person who asks that question often. I often think we complicate life so much more than necessary.

So, today I was checking my email and had a forward from my auntie titled "7 Percent". You will understand why it's given this title at the end, but that's not why I've posted it:

7 Percent

A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said, 'Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.'

The Lord led the holy man to two doors.
He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in.

In the middle of the room was a large round table.

In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.

The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly.

They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful.

But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.

The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.

The Lord said, 'You have seen Hell.'

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exact ly the same as the first one.

There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water.

The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking.

The holy man said, 'I don't understand.'

'It is simple,' said the Lord. 'It requires but one skill. You see, they have learned to feed each other. The greedy think only of themselves.'

When Jesus died on the cross, he was thinking of you.
Its estimated 93% won't forward this.
If you are one of the 7% who will, forward this with the title '7%' .

I'm in the 7%
Remember that
I will always share my
spoon with you.

The theme of this refers back to one of the two most important commandments the Lord asked us to follow: To love God with all our heart AND to love our neighbors.

These two chapters in Proverbs mention quite a bit the difference between the poor and the wealthy, but it notes that riches are stored up in heaven with the virtues of giving, loving, helping, and being honest.

How are you living? Have you done something (good) for someone else lately?

Cleanliness is Next to Godliness

While there is no scriptural passage to my knowledge that directly speaks to cleanliness and God, there is nothing better than having a clean home, office, or wherever it is you dwell the most. One of the items on my "to do" list has been to do some thorough cleaning of my home. Today, I was able to do just that. Yeah, yeah...Most people want to just relax and rest on their vacation. I am not to be excluded in that number, but my studies in Proverbs have kept me being a little more dilgent and less idle...And, that I can back with a verse!

Whoever loves discipline loves, knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid. - Proverbs 12:1

To truly live a disciplined life, there has to be some order and organization in one's life. I realize a big part of why I am not where I'd like to be has to do with this lack of structure.

Keep in mind that a close, related word to dicipline is DISCIPLE. I am a follower of Christ. Not only can I know the word, but I need to live it...and in every aspect of life: talk, walk, thought, etc.

So, on this evening as I prepare for slumber, I rest knowing that I've ridded myself of much clutter. I will be donating and giving away about 7 bags of goods. I threw away about 6 (or more) garbage bags of JUNK. Putting in this type of work will allow me to really enjoy the remainder of my time off, but spiritually I pray it will show him that I'm making space for the blessings he has for me. This season is not just about the physiological, but EVERY aspect of me. I'm aiming to cleanse the heart, but this will mean having to touch or change some things around me...maybe there is some connection to the cleanliness/godliness saying.

Got Christ? Go Tell It!

"The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life; and he that winneth souls is wise." - Proverbs 11:30

So the youthful tune "This Little Light of Mine. I'm Going to Let it Shine!" overwhelms my spirit as I type. The day's proverb and study is not so profound, but truly important for us to exercise in the way of doing: discipleship and testimony, winning souls and speaking on God's goodness.

We often feel uncomfortable having to share our "religious" beliefs. As a girl, I recall my Brownie troop leader giving us sound words of advice for life, which have remained with me: "There are three things you should never discuss with friends: Politics, Money, and Religion." I'm not sure she put them in that order, but I can remember the image of where I was sitting and what I was doing when she said it to us...And that was MANY MANY years ago, people!

Excuses are made for why we do not express the goodness of God to others: I don't want to impose; People will think I'm crazy; I'm not really confident in sharing--what if they ask me tough questions or challenge me?!

Stop your excuses. Let's impose!

The Word tells us there are great rewards in winning lost souls (Daniel 12:3). I am not saying you need to do it for the reward that come...Think of it as the benefits it gives and offers to someone. You never know the powerful and positive impact you could have on someone in just sharing how God's been good to you. It doesn't have to be some major, life-changing story...Your personal encounter(s) with him will be meaningful enough if it is important and meaningful to you.

Do not be ashamed to tell somebody about how great He is. The joy we share and have in Him should not be a secret!

Vision & Mission Driven

In chapter 10 of Proverbs, verse 32--the last line--stands out: "Without Good Direction, People Lose Their Way" (MSG).

Today, our leadership team met to discuss the book reading we had for the summer. The book's focus is establishing and building a Professional Learning Community. The author, Rick DuFour, provides the cornerstones to educational organizations working in collaboration and as teams, and the very first step is having a vision and mission that all understand, know, and buy into for direction...Hm, sound familiar (see previous posts)???

The exciting thing about where I currently am professionally is I have reached a place where I truly can begin to positively impact the live of those I've been hired to guide and direct. I have spent the last couple years on the job just trying to survive, learn the players, and understand what it means to be a "coach". With wonderful mentorship and a great education, I have been successful on a variety of levels.

I understand there has been a lot of favor in my life. In fact, it's been heavily on my mind this evening. My mother has always been my biggest fan. There hasn't been anything she felt I could not tackle or accomplish. As a result, I moved confidently through my learning experiences even in the midst of sometimes failing or embarrassing myself. It did not matter because there was a goal. I often wonder why I didn't end up being laughed at, denounced, or put aside...not taken seriously...God's favor! People saw that I was a hard worker and doer. I also believe they were invested in me given my passion and the love of God in my heart.

Whatever the case, I recognize the goodness of those who have led me down a good path. I am thankful for the developed realtionships founded in trust by those I work with, befriend, and love.

I am excited for this upcoming year because of the Good Direction that we've been able to set in place thus far.

Pearls of Wisdom

I'm blessed to have some wonderful, extraordinary, beautiful, intelligent women in my life. They are my sisters, best friends, and I imagine God's blessed me with them not for a season but a lifetime.

We all come from different backgrounds with different stories, but I love my sorors of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. It was a treat for me to be able to spend quality time with my soror who crossed with me. One highlight was seeing 'The Color Purple' at the Kennedy Center. Further, Stevie Wonder happened to be there for the show, and he had to use our aisle to enter and exit the theatre...WOW...

However, the topper was when we went to M St Bar & Grill in Washington, DC, for brunch. We're sitting and catching up when my dear soror who's a lawyer begins this wild wave with one of the customers. She's a nice looking woman with her family and she smiles and waves to us...Leasa makes out the word "Justice..." which is right about when it clicks that this is the newly sworn in Supreme Justice Sonia Sotomayor. She was with her family enjoying brunch.

Well, we were off the chain and Angel with her big camera whipped it out ready to do begin the photo shoot...YEAH...a bit embarrassing when the Secret Serviceman came to our table and had to get buck. However, Justice Sotomayor thought we were a fun bunch, sending us the flowers the managers had prepared for her at her table. We got to take a picture with her and mingle afterwards. It was super cool and made for a memorable experience.

Here is a true example and pillar of wisdom that we had the chance to meet and exchange words with...






"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdome, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." Proverbs 9:10

In essence, "The pathway to success in everyday living requires pursuing the practical wisdom of the Lord amidst the distrations of a seductive world."

E.G.O. Tripping & Real Love

"Good counsel and common sense are my characteristics; I am both Insight and the Virtue to live it out." Proverbs 8:14

Before any beautiful mountain, ocean, valley, sunrise or sunset, there was God. He created the heavens and earth. He made each one of us, and we are fearfully and wonderfully created with a purpose: to worship him. We were the first of his creations and most valued and cherished.

When I allow wisdom to be my guide, I contribute to the good in this society...from government and lawmakers to militaries and wars. Little ol' me makes a contribution daily in the decisions I make with my actions.

Simple, godly living results in major benefits...Hard to believe? But, what sacrifice has he made? The ultimate one: He bled love and the scars continue to bleed when we close our hearts to his goodness.

I'm talking about Real Love sings MJB...I'm talking about E.G.O. Tripping ---Thank you, Ms. Giovanni!

I leave you with an acronym that will allow you to have a big ego and get your swagger on: Easing Out God.

Be richly blessed by embracing his ways and instructions...It's priceless, yet the most valuable piece/peace one might possess. And, it's yours...all yours...for free.

You Can't Turn a Ho into a Housewife...

but Jesus can...

I was truly disappointed in myself when I missed three/four days worth of posting. I had started out so strong and was getting a post day. However, I know better. With my schedule and really trying to make these blogs reader friendly, I need down time to allow for the creative juices to have a happy process.

The first evening when I read Proverbs 5, I thought to myself, "WHOA...Heavy grounds...I can't share my thoughts on this." But it didn't stop there! The next few days I found the topic/theme threading its way into these following chapters. I begin to pray and ask God, "How does this apply to me, God? There has to be something I can capture in these readings?"

There is something to be learned for me...and hopefully for you, too.

Proverbs 5, 6, and 7, bring up the ways of the Immoral Woman. Solomon wrote Proverbs along with Ecclesiastes and the Song of Solomon. He has a very distinct message in each book, but they also correspond to the different phases/times in his life: youth, mid-age, the old age...All of this to provide some history, but what is consistent in Solomon's writings is he is graphic and seldom holds back. You want a good sex bood--yes, I used the "s" word--read Song of Solomon; it could put you and your significant other in the mood: rekindle the flame! What was I supposed to be talking about???!!!

Oh, the immoral woman! In these three chapters, Solomon is pretty straight-forward in his description about these types of women. While there is the literal message for us to learn and heed, I am certain we could take this message to a broader and more contextual meaning for life.

Proverbs is a book that repeatedly stresses wisdom, knowledge and understanding. From a blog I came across in my studies of these chapters, a writer stated it well in asking us to substitue "wayward woman" for something like "sinful world". If you read through the ways of this woman, every one of us could find where we have individually or collectively fallen short in the eyes of God. From laziness to lustful thoughts, we are in a time where many morals and good manners have escaped the generation before us. It is sad; I see it daily. Sadly, though, in a second, third, and fourth read, I found myself feeling convicted due to knowing I am no better than the ho...Sin is sin.

Jesus actually does come face to face with a few immoral women throughout the Bible, and he does change them for the good. If he can take a nobody or scum of the earth person and give them a makeover, think of all the other things he can do!

In a society where it appears everything is a go, we need to remember that we have the power to model and facilitate the change. This comes through the power we get in our relationships with God.

Don't lose the faith...or your Christ-like ways!

Life's Moral Compass

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. PROVERBS 4:23


Life's moral compass is the heart of man. Our hearts are powerful instruments-figuratively and literally. The heart holds emotions and guides our direction through the plans made pending the ups and downs life dishes us. As a compass, it is important that the heart leads us to the voice of the Lord, which could be considered North. To the East there is prayer and studying, which allow our outreach and fellowship with others. To the South is the Word, which we should take time for daily.

Think of the wilderness: It is not a fun place when there is no sense of direction, preparation or purpose. I never minded camping as a young girl in the Girl Scouts. In fact, I looked forward to those trips. I think it was due to the amount of planning and preparing, that I never thought about the things I would not have, getting lost, being attacked, or going without certain luxuries. Some of the prior mentionings I listed have now become many of the reasons I would not have a desire to go camping now. Really when I reflect, it is the point of the preparation, and my use of imagery and the compass work...

While I certainly do not know what's before me each day in "the wilderness". I seldom start the day in fear or anxiety due to the preparation of the Word in my heart. His words comfort and remind me that "I can do all things," and that "no weapon formed against me will prosper."

Today, I reflect and ask: What's guiding or guarding your heart?

If it isn't Jesus, you're likely dealing with a lot of unrest and dissatisfaction. I can attest that there are times when situations get the best of me and I need a moment to fall into "pity" mode...Truth is, it feels great when a situation can come and not get knocked down. Being unmoved, walking in faith with confidence in what's been planted in us is the BEST feeling. I will call it a cocky swagger (hehehe), but it is definitely not one that is used for bad! I hope it exudes his love and models exactly what life should be like when we know our lives are safe because of whose hands they're in: GOD'S...no better place I know!

Love Seeks to Understand

"If you always choose the easy way, asking for the peaceful valleys, you will never see God's power displayed to enable you to take a mountain."

No need to be upset in your search (for gold)..."Fool's gold is what you find when you're panning for the real thing." In other words, you're on the right track. Keep on tracking.

"Do not neglect the gift that is in you."

=============================================

REFLECTIONS

The most noted and repeated verses of Proverbs 3 are verses 5 & 6: "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."

There are many nuggets one can take from Proverbs 3, but I'm going to focus on verse 13:
"HOW BLESSED IS THE MAN WHO FINDS WISDOM, AND THE MAN WHO GAINS UNDERSTANDING."

I'm often sought out when it comes to providing logical, spiritual/christian, what-would-Jesus-do advice. Relationships, children, career decisions, relationships, transitions, education, relationships, conflicts, scriptural references, etc. You'll notice there was a word that kept surfacing...RELATIONSHIPS. While I appreciate that young and old trust my words and thoughts when it comes to choices, obstables, life, the topic of relationships is always a puzzling one for me considering I'm single and that would appear to be a poor indicator of my having success in the area!

Truth be told I think people have watched me get burned time and time again and still carry on with dignity. How do you do it? Why are you so calm? How did you overcome the hurt? Should I confront him/her?

Simply put: Love seeks to understand.

While I cannot answer any of those questions, I know a few things to be certain when it comes to God. He cares. He does not desire for us to live a life of hurt. And, he has a purpose and plan for our lives. All this to further say that when trials come, we must seek to understand from a perspective of love. On a deeper level, I often think of how frequently grace and mercy are offered to us despite how we mistreat the relationship we have with God. He loves us even when we don't spend time with him, trust in him, or ignore his teachings.

In my personal life, I am struggling presently to understand and love. We are able to experience emotions: anger, love, joy, peace, frustration, impatience...What matters is how we choose to respond and react based on our feelings. I have some frustration with a certain someone, but I also know that I've hurt people in my life--not intentionally, but to do what I knew was best. Knowing this, I am looking for the blessings in this recent outcome--trusting that it was done for the good.

Seeking to understand is hard--it takes work. The word used in the verse is "finds." It is active and means we cannot just be stagnant. As a reminder, God seeks to give his children good things (Matthew 7).

"Trust and obey. For there's no other way, to be happy in Jesus then to trust and obey."

Benefits of Wisdom

The second chapter of Proverbs discusses the moral benefits behind seeking and gaining wisdom. Using the translation from The Message Bible, my verses of focus are 6 to 11:

"...God gives out Wisdom free, is plainspoken in Knowledge and Understanding. He's a rich mine of Common Sense for those who live well, a personal bodyguard to the candid and sincere. He keeps his eye on all who live honestly, and pays special attention to his loyally committed ones. So now you can pick out what's tru and fair, find all the good trails! Lady Wisdom will be your close friend, and Brother Knowledge your pleasant companion. Good Sense will scout ahead for danger, Insight will keep an eye out for you."

TWO THOUGHTS...

At times I feel the Bible is filled with riddles. One moment we read one thing, and another verse, chapter or book will give completely opposite instruction. For example, the other week I posted a status message that implored us to stop making excuses for waiting on God. Reality is many of us don't have to wait since God's just been patiently waiting on us. My brother immediately wanted to discuss this, taking the text in the direction of Isaiah 40:31. He gave me several texts that focused on "waiting" on the Lord and being of good courage. I had actually been focused on another verse: Psalm 37:23, which speaks of the steps of a righteous man availing...being stretched and moving outside the comfort zone into the purpose God has called us into instead of hiding, ducking, or making excuses.

Who was right?

We both were...

The awesome thing about the Bible is it is God's form of communication with us. Our way of communicating back is through prayer. The items in it are true and should help us to face the things occurring in our lives. I don't want to call it subjective, but more so personalized--it meets the needs of each person who encounters its truths.

The irony is I needed to post my message the other week to have God speak to me through the verse my brother shared on "waiting on God." I've not heard three messages with this reference to that specific verse. BOTH of today's messages--yes, I attended TWO sevices--brought this passage to surface at some point in the sermons.

I get it. I get it. Now, I just need to discern what the heck I'm supposed to be applying it to in my life! I think I know; however, the benefit of this walk is knowing He's got me covered in so many ways. He has given me Lady Wisdom who's like a mother and Knowledge who is the Big Brother...what a beautiful analogy!

Make Insight a Priority

The first day of August...

I am struggling to believe it's the eighth month of the year 2009 and am really challenged by the fact that summer is escaping us this fast. Truly, each day has been cherished, and I've done quite a bit with more to come before the start of another academic year, which is almost a month away.

This month I will take on reading and studying a Proverb a day. This is a common practice in Christian homes when the seventeen/eighteen year old is about to leave for college or the high schooler is reaching a rite of passage, etc. I find that with each time I read this book, more and more wisdom manifests itself, which I suppose is a good thing since that is really a theme of Proverbs.

In tonight's read, I've already captured a few of the highlights of chapter 1. The theme verse I'll meditate on is Proverbs 1:7 - "Start with God—the first step in learning is bowing down to God; only fools thumb their noses at such wisdom and learning."

While the sentence appears simple and clear, it is so hard to at times do. As I traveled to my hometown this morning, there was a sermon I tuned into on one of the radio stations. The pastor used a metaphor of having this bird who had built a nest close to their home. As a result, the bird was creating quite a "mess" and his wife wanted the bird gone. What they discovered was the bird had a nest of eggs, so his wife was willing to "put up with the crap" until the eggs hatched and the babies could leave the nest. Similarly, this is how sin manifests its way into our lives. If we're not careful to catch it early enough we have to deal with the "crap" because we're sensitive to the eggs--or problems--that need to be tended to due to our negligence of not guarding our hearts. Deep, huh?

Personally, I know there are areas of my life where I intentionally sin and fall short due to wanting to accomodate the "layed eggs." The end result is putting up with crap. The writer Paul in the book of 1 Corinthians chapter 10 speaks of the importance of us guarding our hearts. The only way this can fully and successfully be accomplished is when we keep His laws and the Word close to our hearts.

They say it takes 21 days to develop a habit. I pray that in focusing this type of attention to the book of Proverbs and going beyond 21 days I'll be able to better myself and grow, ridding myself of some of the unnecessary crap in my life to allow for God's showering of blessings...

This word makes for insight on another level. I took part in a beautiful showering of blessings in a gathering for a childhood friend who recently married. The coolest thing was this was my church family of second mommies and their daughters all coming together in celebration of our sister. The little girls I've grown up with and our moms were all under one roof, keeping Him at the forefront of our joy and laughter. It was inspiring and uplifting, making me once again add to my list of wonderful blessings. As we sat in the family room for the last part of the shower, words of wisdom and blessings were expressed to the new bride. It was priority to have insight in loving and accepting the generations of beauty and wisdom that all graced the room.

My life has been blessed and touched in many ways, and as one of my friends leaned over and shared with me, "I just love all of our moms and hope we'll all have that when we're that age." In my current role I try to model and pave a road daily for the students I am in contact with to help them see the joys of life. I'm hungry for this wisdom study to grow me and motivate me into another year of making a difference in the lives of others. That action alone is going to allow it to me returned to me in ways that only God knows.

I am smiling.

To God be the Glory!

GRATEFUL

I was unable to put words to my emotion until I sat and tuned in to Black in America part 2.

FACT: Black students are 12% less likely to enter college than white students.

This evening my heart was set on going to Bible Study. In fact, there was disappointment that I was unable to be there and see a friend of mine get baptized. Instead, a telephone call from one of my mentees yesterday interupted my normal Wednesday worshipping experience. My mentee is one of the nation's small population of Black students to receive a way out of her current situation and is an entering freshman to one of the most prestigious colleges in the world. Her procrastination and anxiety hindered her from knowing how to register for classes, and she called seeking advice and assistance.

I picked her up this evening and we journeyed to one of the local libraries where we went through the course catalog and chose classes. I then took her and her sister across town to get money wired somewhere per their mom's request. They said they'd take the bus back home; the family has no personal transportation.

Few know that this young lady works hard to make ends meet at home. She is even going to continue working when classes begin for the fall.

I am grateful. I am grateful that this young lady came into my life, and I hers. I am grateful that she has maintained a desire to work hard despite the set-backs and challenges she has had to face. Her invisibility and characteristics that fit the stereotype have not held her back, stopped her, or made her give excuses.

Tonight she recharges me. I am fueled once more to touch as many lives as possible, not taking my place in this world for granted.

I do not know why I was born in America and not Africa. I cannot explain why I was born black and not some other ethnicity. I do not need to adopt or exhibit the lifestyles of majority of society to have culture or be validated. I love and embrace my blackness, but I'm also a love of humanity, common sense, and people trying to make positive change.

Leadership. I am a leader. I am influential. I am here to remind others that they have plenty to give to this world.

Summer Lovin'

I love summer for so many reasons. The days are longer. The weather is awesome to allow for outdoor fun. Warmth of the sun on my skin as I make runs around town give me great pleasure. Life slows down even with how quickly the days escape us during this time of year--definitely a paradox, but it is true.

This past week and weekend happened to be what I would deem the climax of summer. I am right at that midpoint, knowing that my days are numbered before Labor Day comes and goes with the start of another academic year. With Vacation Bible School going on this week, it definitely brought home the fact that summer is here. Then I had the chance to enjoy more amusement park fun with a dynamic outdoor gospel concert with some of my favorites. I slept in today and journeyed to the late service, which was awesome. I came home, napped quickly, and had a lovely outing with a friend.

I have to comment that the older I get the more awkward the dating scene becomes. I am picky, which I know tends to hinder my progress. Not to mention my busy schedule...Of recent, my love life could be described as busily complicated. I hate the term "complicated" and would refuse to ever title myself as falling into the category. However, I seem to attract the type who are not trying to fully commit. And, the ones that do, I tend not to share the same feelings.

Tonight as I post on summer lovin' I also have added a video of the late Marvelettes, singing "Please, Mr. Postman." In an age of texting, facebooking, email, etc., I think I am longing for the lost art of a "love" note or letter, reclaiming the beauty of courtship and showing some affection.

Smile. What would a blog post from me be without have the literal and figurative meanings to come shining through? I've never been one to put all of my business out there, but I will note that I'm appreciating the journey of my summer loves. We'll see where it all goes!

We Are the Warriors

Psalm 127:5 reads, "Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate."

Every dedication ceremony held at my church, my pastor refers to the biblical passage above. He eloquently goes into the analogy given, breaking it down in such a way you just may want to go produce a baby...Okay. Okay. I think I went too far there, but you get my point (I hope)!

I'm always moved by the description and while I do not have children biologically, I am inspired to do and be more for the children I am around regularly.

The verse exposes us to the fact that children are like "arrows in a warrior's hand". This means they are WEAPONS to be used in battle. We, the warriors, have the ability to activate/put to use these arrows--our kids. Of that time, warriors sharpened and prepared the arrows. The more arrows a warrior had in in his quiver, the more prosperous and victorious he was said to be in the midst of a crisis.

I am not sure anyone reading this can or will understand the depth of these words and the phrase. Maybe it cannot be appreciated since a bow and arrow are antiquated items. My biblical surfacing of "gold" is a nugget of truth that makes me excited. I want to pour out this knowledge to anyone who will listen, has kids, teaches or is alive and passes a child daily.

Our generation is one where children no longer dream. They do not know how to set high expectations because this world is more and more squashing the concept. I miss the days of keeping children outside for exploration and fun instead of in front of a television or computer. I can accept the way and life of cell phones and texting; every teenager goes through the stage of hogging the communication lines in their households. I just caution that the family take time to pray together, live together and communicate.

This world is cold and real...Are you helping the children you are around daily? Do you remember the good and bad of your childhood?

We're born to battle (for good) and must be equip for it. As I prepare for another academic year, this will be my theme and message to all who are willing to hear it. I refuse to accept piss poor at the expense of another child's education. I'm reaching a new level professionally--an awakening...It's time to take back our youth to the foolishness and destruction the world has tempted all of us with...Too much of anything can be dangerous.

Boston "T" Party

Just yesterday I was in Boston, Massachusetts, where the air was crisp and cool. By evening, my flight had landed and I walked into the humid 75 degree weather of Virginia. I was happy for home...

I bring back with me a Boston state of mind. While there my colleagues and I had the opportunity to meet with 40 middle schoolers who are in a summer Rites of Passage program under the directorship of two of my good friends. The students were absolutely precious. They value education and understand the importance of learning all you can to get somewhere in life. These are students making As & Bs, yet some of them will never go to college given their home situations. The belief in their homes for some is women need to stay home and take care of the family. For others, it means falling into the same roles as those in the family, which would be blue collar work. We had a powerful session with the students, focusing on the world beyond school emphasizing preparation, determination, and reputation.

In the downtime we had there with our Boston family, my colleagues/friends and I were also able to have thoughtful conversations (as we always do when we come together). From relationships to education, and religion to headliners, the discussions always provide insight and motivation to do and be better.

I bring back the desire to be more in my current roles here...on the job, in my personal life, and (most importantly) for God. Even today, my pastor has just returned from a missions trip in Africa. He reminded us of how much we have and waste--we do too little and are given so much. He asked, "Why, God, was I born here in America and them here in Africa?" With so little, those in Africa are humble, happy and utilize the resources around them. They do SO MUCH with so little. Meanwhile, we worry about the things not going right that are truly trivial.

So, tonight I am excited about my sobering TRIP to Boston. I appreciate the TERRIFIC time given to be with my wonderful friends up in Boston; they're all wonderful and doing great things. My Boston TEACHING Party made remember how much I love to teach, how good I am at what I do, and how much I love touching lives in education.

Here are a few pictures from the trip...

do i do

On this July 4th weekend, I decided to exercise my freedom by letting the hair have some freedom. It's been a minute since I've done the curly look. Anyone who knows me from back in the day will recall that I did the curls for my senior pictures. And, once in a while I'll pop up to work with the curly do...

My stylist was a bit questionable with where I was headed with the request; however, I think she was just elated and relieved that I wasn't bugging her about having my hair cut, which has been a topic of debate between us now for the past six months. As she pulled the rollers from the set out and began playing with my hair, she said, "oooooh kswann, i think i am feeling this sultry look." lol.

Anyway, this may be the summer look & then we'll work in the cut for a fresh look in the fall!

I'm super excited about the free time I have from work over this long weekend. And, I was diligent to get my hind parts up bright and early for corporate prayer at church. Once I retire from the day's blog, I'm going to get me in a little nap and get the day up and poppin'. I have a big week coming up: Boston, baby!!!

Happy July 4th -- have you appreciated your freedom today???



A little music for your listening pleasure as you read!!! ENJOY.

Remembering a Star

In my lifetime, I have heard dialogue about where people were when Rev. Dr. Martin L. King, Jr. and John F. Kennedy were assassinated. People recall when Ronald Reagan was shot. Of course, we spring forward and there were the deaths of Princess Diana, Luther Vandross, Tupac and Notorious...I vividly remember being in my dorm room when news broke on the terrorist acts with the Twin Towers on 9-11...and, I still can see myself sitting on the steps at the age of six saying goodbye to my father and not realizing it would be the last time...

Death is never easy. Tragedies and crises shake us; life is interrupted. So, is it a shock that for the past week the television and radio stations have had a consistent flow of tributes to the late great King of Pop, Michael Jackson?

His death was tragic and came way too soon. News of the sudden heart attack quickly took the spotlights off of Ed McMahon and Farrah Fawcett...and even Billy Mays...No one was ready for this genius of an artist to expire. It hit like when Elvis died. Most thought it was fake or not so serious when the first reports came out.

Where was I? In my office finishing up work for the day. I had the t.v. on behind me as I worked with low volume. Oprah was finishing up and the 5 o'clock news popped on and gave the breaking news that Jackson was being rushed to the hospital for cardiac arrest. I paused, turned and looked...I then went back to my work; however, in moments my phone was sounding off with text messages about the news from friends. We joked and gave the "stop playing"/it's all good, comfort phrases. By the time I was packing up, I was then seeing reports that he had slipped into a coma. And, by the time I reached home L.A. Times confirmed his passing. Once in, CNN and other stations were on their jobs. Facebook was busy with posts. And, I prayed for that moment that maybe it was folks moving too fast and this was all just a huge mix up. That was not the case.

It is sad, and we Never Can--or Will--Say Goodbye. His impact on music culture is impossible to ignore. And, for the African American community, he paved the way in breaking down color barriers that exist. He is an icon, but his mysterious ways, terrible childhood, yet amazing hits, kept us glued.

Stop, Drop & Pray? Okay. Okay. I know that I should not put a "shameless" plug in there for getting our lives right. It's cliche-ish, old, played out? I wouldn't be me, though, if I didn't. I think that I want to take a different route and consider the type of impact Jackson had in the world. He could have focused on self, but this is someone who clearly allowed his talent to be used to its capacity in order to reach multitudes. Is there something in your life you've buried because you've given up on the possibility of it ever coming to be? Why not pray and allow God to fully be in control of getting you to that place? Faith. It's not as easy as it seems, but it is what separates the doers from the wishers.

Tonight I am praying peace for the Jackson family and those who have been greatly touched or saddened by this musician's death. I am also praying for a greater awakening to hit our world, which was something Jackson constantly sang about doing. Healing the World, remembering We are the World, knowing we can do because Who's Bad?, and Talking to the Man in Mirror...We all have a little Michael in us; we all have the power to live up to greatness.

Next paragraph...

"according to the psalmist (34:14b), we have to seek peace and pursue it...so i'm in pursuit of nothing but peace today [and everyday]." (THANKS, MO!)

So, I haven't had the opportunity to really take the time to blog. Life got hectic at work and my evenings consisted of me crashing on the bed, the couch, the floor...wherever I could rest my head. Finally, though, things are beginning to come back to normal and I need to re-establish my routine of taking the time to catalog the precious moments of life (haha).

Anyway, so much is going on and I hope that in the month of July I will really be able to remember and take the time to highlight some...

Today I am focusing on the next "paragraph" in this chapter of my life. Often people discuss reaching a new chapter. I wouldn't call where I am a new chapter: so much is the same. However, I suppose it is best captured in the description of finding one's self in a rut or the same routine. I often have this happen where I am just going through the motions without really taking too much time to experience change, fun, or anything meaningful.

In the past week, a lot has happened in the world and personally, so it was a comfort and awakening to see the words I led off with above as my friend's status when I logged in...If I am choosing to maintain where I am, I will have to choose peace. This will mean having to rid my life of clutter or those things taking up space. Her words have echoed all week in other ways, which only solidifies the words were meant for me.

The greatest blessing came in a deacon from my church last night being a blessing and coming directly to me. I've managed over the last six years to be a pew sitter. I attend church, tithe, worship and go home. I am quite supportive with my presence, but I've not given much of my time to volunteering or really finding a place. I was with the choir for a hot minute. I then worked with the athletic ministry, but just kept finding conflict with things, which made me not want to come out...My work schedule really helped me to not have to come for things, so I really was unable to hang. This deacon has been observing me for a while. She always makes it her business to greet me, offer a hello, etc. Her approach was casual yet planned/strategic. When I came in, I saw her and reached out to hug her. She said she wanted to see me and handed me a cute tote bag that quoted Proverbs 3:5. I THANKED her, and she said, "I'll be seeing you on Thursday at 7:30." LOL. She has recruited me for one of the ministries, and while I could be upset or feel like this was a set-up, I'm actually kind of thankful for the push. I've been fighting this for so long and think I'm ready to step out there and try again.

My ministry has always been important to me. And, while it is not dead, I feel I have kind of buried it in this heap of other priorities and excuses that keep me from having to address it. My hope is that this push forward will allow me in the remainder of this chapter to finish off the paragraphs that will move me into the next phase. I am excited!

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

Recently, we held honor assemblies for all the grade levels. This consisted of recognizing honor roll, attendance, independent reading, etc., etc. Each ceremony went very well, and the students were pretty well-behaved. It was great to have a moment where positive things were being discussed about our children. Too often we spend time disciplining and complaining about the things our children do not do. If I could show you all of the certificates we signed, you'd be amazed. I had hand cramps to prove how big that number was--pain worth enduring!

On one of the days, I took a moment to share a brief story with our students about Lou Gehrig. The story was about when he went to visit a little boy in the hospital who was sick with polio and had pretty much given up on life. When the little guy saw his hero come in his room for a visit, he promised Mr. Gehrig he'd try to walk again if he'd make a homerun in the game he'd be playing later that day. The deal was made. Of course, Gehrig was a bit of a mess and worried for the promise he had made. What if he could not meet his end of this bargain??? Fortunately, Gehrig knocked two homeruns that day! Years later when Gehrig was honored for his career and was in the final stages of his horrible muscular disease, the little boy he'd visited dropped his crutches, walked to him and hugged him. It was a powerful moment for Gehrig, and continues to be an inspirational story for those who come across it.

The questions posed to the audience at the ceremony were: Who's hit a homerun (at some time in your life) for you? And, are you striving for homeruns in your life daily? I reminded them that each day someone's hitting us a homerun (e.g., parents, spouses, friends, teachers, etc.). We often take these sacrifices for granted. At times, the homeruns do not directly impact us, but are still done to show us encouragement and to model proper behavior.

To transition a bit, I had to smile recently about a status post by one of my friends on a popular social site, which read: "When life throws you a curve ball, duck..." Having had some moments with this whole baseball theme for a few days now, I asked myself, "Lord, where's this theme taking me???" I think it was the comment one of my friend's friends later posted, which made me laugh hard, but put it all into perspective: "Don't 'duck.' Step back, swing and hit a f@ing homerun!!!"

It's baseball season, and I am in the game in so many ways personally, professionally and socially. Some curve balls have come my way more recently, and I was at a point of just wanting to duck. However, the adversary would want me to do just that: duck, give up, show out, protest...Hurt people hurt people.

I'm directly feeling the blows by an individual right now. While I could go the level of entertaining the slander, I will take the higher road, praying for the pain to cease and the healing process to begin. I must face up to the consequences that came through the (bad) choices I made from that season.

Call it a trade in teams, a time for reconditioning & training, or more listening to the coach and studying the plays...Whatever the case, I am working to hit homeruns with every ball thrown. As a result, God is blessing me and allowing the doors of opportunity to open wider and wider. It is a sweet season, and I hum the familiar tune, "Take me out to the ball game. Take me out with the crowd..."

God's provision continues to manifest itself and console me in several ways. I stop and remind myself of these deep words: "I have to change my definition of success to match what I know to be true about God...I am parking my mind on the truth." My bases are loaded; there is no time for ducking or drawing conclusions that would shut down my abilities or others. The goal's to be better for God, to be better for me, to be better for those I come in contact with--And, yes, I just ended that last statement with a preposition.

Telephone

A random moment in mi vida loca...

Somehow the conversations I have with people during the day never quite seems to capture the essence of what main points I was trying to make. A student is called to the main office or Guidance, they come in and sit, and then there is dialogue.

Here's what I mean:

Me: Hi, Sue. Come in and take a seat. Do you know why you were called down?

X (we'll call our student Susie): Um...No...

Me: Well, think about it. Is there anything that would give me concern or concern others, having them to refer you to me? behavior? misconduct?

Susie: Well, I didn't throw food...today. [big smile]

Me: [laughing] That would be correct. You're currently serving lunch detention. Let's try again.

Susie: [processing. thinking. trying to make-up stuff] Are you talking about that class situation?

Me: [blind-sided info; student about to incriminate self] Well, perhaps. Share with me your take on the situation.

Susie: Well, all I did was laugh when the teacher asked me about something. It was kind of stupid that I got sent to ETR.

Me: Well, you may think it is stupid, but you clearly were distracting the instruction, which is why you were sent...Okay. Let me help you, Susie. Let's think about the bus...Anything going on there?

Susie: The bus? Um...no...

Me: [Sigh] Okay. Have you been saying or doing anything on the bus that would be offensive or inappropriate?

Susie: A lot of students do.

Me: Yes, but we're talking about you, dear. Anything?

Susie: No...

Me: All right, Susie. Let me be a little more specific. Are you making racial and inappropriate comments?

Susie: Oh...That? Well, I make comments around my friends, but it's not directed at the people or groups I'm talking about.

[There is more dialogue along these lines pulling the information out. The point is finally made but then there is that special moment of driving home the point...]

Me: Susie, what are you wearing around your neck?

Susie: A cross.

Me: What does it represent?

Susie: Christianity. Jesus.

Me: Sooooo...Do you think your actions are reflecting what you represent and display to others about your faith walk?

Susie: No.

I'm feeling like I just rocked this conversation totally. We finish up with the disciplinary consequence, and I let the student know their parent will be notified. We get to the end of the day; hours have escaped me and I've yet to make that call. Before leaving, I pick up the telephone and call the parent.

As soon as I share who I am, I can hear the reserve in the voice of the parent. And, as the conversation plays out, I realize I'm caught once again in the childhood game "telephone" (also called Chinese Whispers). You know the game where everyone gets in a circle or line, and a person whispers in the ear of the person next to him/her, who then passes the same message, and on and on until it reaches the last person who is supposed to announce the whispered phrase? Usually by the time it has reached the last person, the message has been altered, skewed, and badly worded, making everyone laugh hysterically. There are times where there are people in the game who will intentionally change up the message for kicks and giggles; however, everyone should strive to keep the message as in tact as possible.

Well in my game of telephone, the student often times has not passed the message correctly. They take and pick in order to be excused from the wrath they know they deserve to endure. They do an awesome job of twisting the message to displace the anger and have the parent then question my choices for addressing the issue, making it appear their child was picked on...This diversion of the purpose for the phone call ends up taking anywhere from 5 to 25 minutes of correcting and sharing what actually was said before we can even begin to address the purpose for the call and discuss the consequence.

In the end, it typically is fine, but Daaaaaang...

This is just random thinking for tonight.

I suppose I am giving an extreme example of mixed issues. There are just times when I wish parents wouldn't go straight into defense mode and could accept that the calls on discipline or issues without the drama, understanding the purpose is certainly never to falsely accuse or torment. Rather, there is legitimacy and concern. Trust me. I have other things I would much prefer to do with my day than make calls about problems to parents. The goal's to bring forth responsible, thoughtful citizens. And, I won't even go into the whole sexting, which is now replacing texting...Yes, I'll allow you to imagine what those conversations of recent are like. It's another entry. And, if you are aware of the term, google it.

So glad tomorrow's Friday! The weekend is needed.

Heaviness

We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.

~ Kenji Miyazawa

I would be lying if I sat here and shared that all was well and life was just peachy. In my own personal world, life is fine. I have found myself in a bit of a down atmosphere, which is affecting my spirit in many ways. However, there have been continuous words providing lessons to the experiences...

This week a high school senior in our division committed suicide. On the same day, one of our beloved colleagues in the systems lost her battle to cancer. I arrive home today to have messages from my best friend's mom; his boss, a CEO for Freddie Mac had committed suicide...What on earth? (I don't mean to play on the pun with this being Earth Day.)

I am swamped this week more than normal with assignments that need to be taken care of...Yet, nothing seems all that important. I pressed my way out to Bible Study this evening, and many blessings came from it.

God's given me three major messages regarding the issues in my life right now. I'll share them in the hopes that comfort may be brought to you as well with whatever may be going on in your life...

For the Lord doew not abandon anyone forever. Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion according to the greatness of his unfailing love. For he does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow. (Lamentations 3:31-33)

There is no opportunity without opposition. There is no "open door" before us without there being mand adversaries to obstruct our entering.

Are You Robbing God? You shall not steal (Exodus 20:15). We're all selfish to some degree. But don't let that keep you from striving to give yourself to others and to the Lord.

Grace, Mercy & Peace be unto you.

Comfort in Times of Sorrow...

"For with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief." (v.18) Ecclesiastes 1:1-18

It is amazing (my new word for the week) how awesome God is during times of grief & sorrow. Today, I received some sad news on someone in my life who has cancer. It was totally unexpected and the person just happened to go to the doctor this weekend due to back pain. Who knew within a 48 hour period we would now be talking about surgery, leave, etc., etc.? This is someone who is so strong for everyone else and given her/his faith, the soft question of "Why me?" made its way to the conversation as we sat and tears streamed. I could not answer the question then and still am unable to now.

I'm home for the evening and settled in to take a moment to read my devotional for the day. The above scriptural passage was given, and the topic dealt with understanding why bad things happen. We may never be able to answer the question of why suffering and pain exists, but we fortunately are able to put our trust and confidence in the Father. "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy does come in the morning!" (Psalm 30:5)

With every testimony and story that comes into my life, I realize how blessed and fortunate I am. I do not take for granted anything He's given me. I desire to have a purpose-driven life that will not be about my personal agenda, but His perfect will.

Yes, I am a Messy Christian, but Thank God, I am aware and desire to grow.

A Moment of Silence...to Cry Out

Since Easter Sunday, the familiar words of a scriptural passage have kept resurfacing. If we don't cry out (to Him), the rocks will (Luke 19:40). Returning back from break, there were so many instances this week where there was need to cry out. It appeared that many came back sad, broken hearted, or more tired than when we left. One of my colleagues entered my office before the first bell could even ring and cried from her situations over break. Later, another shared her troubles...and another...and another...Along the same note, I have had some interesting encounters with people from my past. Sadly, I learned of a classmate who has MS and is battling that fight. Her spirits are somewhat high, but I can only imagine the emotions she has been experiencing, having a child to raise alone since her husband left them. Sigh.

I haven't even covered the situations that surround the children that I work with on a daily basis. Our first day from break, I sat in two disciplinary hearings. The struggles and obstacles the parents have to endure while their children sit and could care less. In a meeting later in the week, my heart was uplifted by a young man who is out on long-term suspension. He made some really bad choices, but at the meeting shared some profound things, which inspired the title for this piece.

In the midst of all of the things that occurred this week, I continued to come back to the words, "Even the rocks will cry out!" In the midst of my worries and concerns, I know that I am so blessed. I don't always cry out to let him know just how BIG he is in my life. There are so many songs we sing on Sunday morning and just take for granted. Immediately, "Amazing Grace" and "I Surrender All" come to mind. I have never been much of a fan of the former, but our pastor offered such awesome words after singing it this morning. We never think about the fact that it's more than just a song. HIS grace IS amazing! His love is unending and beyond description.

In my silence, my heart is here singing & shouting out. This week ended roughly with me making a decision that I knew was best for me. I don't always understand why things play out the way they do, but I trust God. I sit here, type and think of the words shared in another blog today with discussion that came from a church service. The sermon topic was defining love, and the writer captured one of the descriptors used: "Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

Hm...There are things coming to mind in my tired state that will take me to my slumber for the night. Hm...Amazing Grace. Unending love. Truly, I am blessed!

Heavenly Moments...on a Monday...

Well, the hours are ticking before the workweek comes to its start and break becomes just a memory. It's been a wonderful break with time to see old & present friends, catch up on sleep, and do a little reading and reflecting.

With it only being a day since the Easter holiday, I am hopeful to carry with me the lessons of my time of sacrifice. Reflection has brought renewal and I am prayerful to begin putting to practice those things learned.

On another note, today has been great. Lazy Mondays make them so much more enjoyable. I woke up at a decent hour, upped & prayed, made breakfast and then caught some morning television. I showered and dressed, receiving a text from my girlfriend to join her and her family for the day.

Packed and ready, I made my way out for the WAXtastic event of the brows--a whole other blog to capture one day. Then I went over to the outlets--something I seldom do. However, today's trip was definitely a treat. Ann Taylor blessed my heart today with its showering blessings in sales. I got my hands on a good number of clothing items and they were quite reasonable. I was good until a salesclerk identified me...sigh! That's when I knew it was time to go. Um, I don't want anyone calling me out by full name and job title. TSK!

I then got over to the fam away from fam with good food and fellowship and am still sitting here. It's been a wonderful day to end the break and make my way back into the last push for the academic year.

Goodbye Spring Break, hello Spring, and fun times for the journeys ahead...

Home is...

No matter how old I get or how many years go by, returning home offers a sense of peace that calms me. When I hit my exit from the interstate, familiarity breathes into my spirit and memories from my youth fill my head. I come home to the smells of what home has always smelled like. I sleep in my "big girl's bed" and the slumber is good. I rest. I relax. I take a break from life's struggles, obstacles and problems. The solitude and unstructured schedule allow me the time needed to refocus and remember that I can make it.

Home brings me back to people in my life who mean so much to me and make me smile. My church family embraces me, my godson runs to my arms, my friends grow and have families that they share with me. The pace of things is fast, yet on time. I drive the town and am astonished by how what was one time farm land is now area shops and highways. Parents of childhood friends take in stories from the past, but we share new stories of the present. I am home.

While I often joke that I could never move back and permanently make this a place of residence, I am always moved by how refreshed and happy I am made during my visits.

Home is where the heart is. On this Easter weekend, I give thanks for these moments in time where friendships are rekindled, special times with mom are received, and quiet moments of thinking are given.

There's nothing like a winding country road with a setting sun. God, I love home.

Chess, A Game Fit for a King

Most of you followers of my blog know me well enough by now to know that I couldn't allow Passion Week to go by without pulling the trump card, some profound thought or epiphany. Not that this is a game for me--given my latter phrase--but words hadn't come to me until last night at church and then bright and early this glorious AM, a day many in the world recognize as Maundy Thursday.

(Work with me and my play on words, which may come off a bit punchy--the title of this piece is after all referring to a game. Although I am not absent from the fact that it's gosh darn early and I should be sleeping like normal people. Instead, the Lord saw fit for me to awaken, giving me a word or two.)

Now, again I ask you to bear with me for a moment as I prepare to shed some light on the game of chess; it's necessary in getting to my point. (SIDE: My brothers continuously have to teach me how to play chess. They're both great players. I think if I played it regularly or had that much of an interest I could be good at it; however, it's always been a game of confusion to me, but many of the men in my life who are dear to me are good chess players. I admire the skill and talent!) SO...This is what the U.S. Chess Federation has to say about a "checkmate":

"The King is the most important piece. When he is trapped, his whole army loses. The King can move one square in any direction. (An exception is 'castling,' a special move that lets a player move two pieces at once--the King and one Rook.) The King may never move into check--that is, onto a square attacked by an opponent's piece...The main goal of chess is to checkmate your opponent's King. The King is not actually captured and removed from the board like other pieces. But if the King is attacked ('checked') and threatened with capture, it must get out of check immediately. If there is no way to get out of check, the position is a 'checkmate,' and the side that is checkmated loses."

I hope you're beginning to read between the lines and formulate the concept or point I'm about to make. Last night at my church's Spring Revival, the speaker for the week, made reference to a painting. It was not his focal point; in fact, he could have gone without mentioning it and still had a powerful message. I'm an avid note taker and try not to miss a beat--there was INDEED purpose for this subtle reference. I came home last night to research it more and stumbled across the picture/painting, which is titled "Checkmate! The King Has One More Move" by Patricia Hulsey. I found a blog that beautifully captures some of the history of sermons and biblical texts that have used this painting as the talking point: http://lmlk.blogspot.com/2007/09/checkmate.html.

In closing, I suppose the greatest theme that has been a recurring theme during my journey of 40 days is the concept of service. When I began my "fasting" season of giving up my items for these 6 weeks, I had my list of items that I was ready to get revelations and blessings. If you recall, last year I refused to give up the television because I couldn't miss "A Raisin in the Sun." This year I gave up the television (amongst other things), and I've done REALLY well. I did have one major moment of weakness, having to see the last episode of The Bachelor when even the internet media was making a huge to do over how things would play out...AND, for the first two weeks, I had to wean myself from the concept or idea of just the habit, so I'd pop in a DVD, justifying that it was not the same thing...WELL, it takes 21 days (researchers say) to develop a habit. Succcessfully, I have broken the habit. I won't lie; I can't wait 'til the 40 days are over...I miss my t.v.! BUT, seriously though, back to SERVICE...

Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice of giving his life because of his compassion for us and our sinful ways. If you've ever read the biblical accounts and historical events leading up to what Christians recognize as Resurrection Sunday, you will see the amount of hate and wickedness displayed by humanity. The people thought they had Jesus, but, if we picture this like a game of chess, God had one more move!

I'm trying to work better at showing strength when under the pressure of man. I no longer avoid conflict as much as I used to. However, in facing issues, I will at times try to appease people at the expense of right---this lack of courage also exudes lack of consistency. My promise is to deny myself daily in order to take up my cross daily (Luke 9:23-24). And, I cannot go wrong, because ALL things work for the good of those who love, trust, and obey Him. He will ALWAYS get the last move.

My issues & problems = checkmate!

Putting aside all things on my list of God to address, the BIGGEST blessing came in his putting the mirror to my face, revealing all I have to continue working toward. I desire to be a reflection of the Son's Light, which will drive me from the walks through darkness.

I am inspired, refreshed, revived, keenly aware that "a workman is worthy of his hire." I am his workman!