Telephone

A random moment in mi vida loca...

Somehow the conversations I have with people during the day never quite seems to capture the essence of what main points I was trying to make. A student is called to the main office or Guidance, they come in and sit, and then there is dialogue.

Here's what I mean:

Me: Hi, Sue. Come in and take a seat. Do you know why you were called down?

X (we'll call our student Susie): Um...No...

Me: Well, think about it. Is there anything that would give me concern or concern others, having them to refer you to me? behavior? misconduct?

Susie: Well, I didn't throw food...today. [big smile]

Me: [laughing] That would be correct. You're currently serving lunch detention. Let's try again.

Susie: [processing. thinking. trying to make-up stuff] Are you talking about that class situation?

Me: [blind-sided info; student about to incriminate self] Well, perhaps. Share with me your take on the situation.

Susie: Well, all I did was laugh when the teacher asked me about something. It was kind of stupid that I got sent to ETR.

Me: Well, you may think it is stupid, but you clearly were distracting the instruction, which is why you were sent...Okay. Let me help you, Susie. Let's think about the bus...Anything going on there?

Susie: The bus? Um...no...

Me: [Sigh] Okay. Have you been saying or doing anything on the bus that would be offensive or inappropriate?

Susie: A lot of students do.

Me: Yes, but we're talking about you, dear. Anything?

Susie: No...

Me: All right, Susie. Let me be a little more specific. Are you making racial and inappropriate comments?

Susie: Oh...That? Well, I make comments around my friends, but it's not directed at the people or groups I'm talking about.

[There is more dialogue along these lines pulling the information out. The point is finally made but then there is that special moment of driving home the point...]

Me: Susie, what are you wearing around your neck?

Susie: A cross.

Me: What does it represent?

Susie: Christianity. Jesus.

Me: Sooooo...Do you think your actions are reflecting what you represent and display to others about your faith walk?

Susie: No.

I'm feeling like I just rocked this conversation totally. We finish up with the disciplinary consequence, and I let the student know their parent will be notified. We get to the end of the day; hours have escaped me and I've yet to make that call. Before leaving, I pick up the telephone and call the parent.

As soon as I share who I am, I can hear the reserve in the voice of the parent. And, as the conversation plays out, I realize I'm caught once again in the childhood game "telephone" (also called Chinese Whispers). You know the game where everyone gets in a circle or line, and a person whispers in the ear of the person next to him/her, who then passes the same message, and on and on until it reaches the last person who is supposed to announce the whispered phrase? Usually by the time it has reached the last person, the message has been altered, skewed, and badly worded, making everyone laugh hysterically. There are times where there are people in the game who will intentionally change up the message for kicks and giggles; however, everyone should strive to keep the message as in tact as possible.

Well in my game of telephone, the student often times has not passed the message correctly. They take and pick in order to be excused from the wrath they know they deserve to endure. They do an awesome job of twisting the message to displace the anger and have the parent then question my choices for addressing the issue, making it appear their child was picked on...This diversion of the purpose for the phone call ends up taking anywhere from 5 to 25 minutes of correcting and sharing what actually was said before we can even begin to address the purpose for the call and discuss the consequence.

In the end, it typically is fine, but Daaaaaang...

This is just random thinking for tonight.

I suppose I am giving an extreme example of mixed issues. There are just times when I wish parents wouldn't go straight into defense mode and could accept that the calls on discipline or issues without the drama, understanding the purpose is certainly never to falsely accuse or torment. Rather, there is legitimacy and concern. Trust me. I have other things I would much prefer to do with my day than make calls about problems to parents. The goal's to bring forth responsible, thoughtful citizens. And, I won't even go into the whole sexting, which is now replacing texting...Yes, I'll allow you to imagine what those conversations of recent are like. It's another entry. And, if you are aware of the term, google it.

So glad tomorrow's Friday! The weekend is needed.