(In) Courage...I Choose Joy

Today marks 10 years since our nation was attacked by terrorists who killed many innocent people.  The recapped footage from that day still ignites strong emotions of anger, sadness, and shock.  Watching the Twin Towers literally crumble as the planes crashed into it...Seeing people jumping to their deaths with fear...It was chaotic.  I will not soon forget where I was, but nor will many.  And, while I did not know anyone who was directly affected by that dreadful day, it hurts.  I suppose that makes me patriotic...or just human.

I can't help but think about the irony of events that have played out this week (in my life)...But, I think that is the point I wish to highlight.  Moving into this week, I thought about how many celebrate a birthday on September 11, or an anniversary...commemorating a person's death or life who was not connected to the terrorists attack. I think about my first week in a new position of leadership.  Somehow these things become trivial when we consider the bigger picture, but really they are not...

The passing of my friend's father highlighted the beautiful strength of their family; the Payne women are resilient.  While I know they are hurting, it was without question they have all faith in God that He makes no mistakes.  They were encouraging to me, sharing how at peace they were; they are planning and expecting the service for him to be a celebration--praise service.

This week's challenges and hurts reminded me that we're to bloom in courage, but that is how God works.  He brought me back to the place I am most at peace--my hometown.  Without fail, there were no coincidences, only confirmations and frequent reminders that God is in control.  We're taken through experiences where our faith is tested, but courage prevails when there is a relationship rooted in godly wisdom (my Sunday School lesson).  And, in the special way that He knows how to do, He gave me MY "sign", as the superintendent over the church's Sunday School asked us to recite the memory verse for the quarter:

I love how God shows up and shows out...Bless His holy name!

And, the lessons I was reminded of by one of my mentors/second moms: "Karen, you pray and you rest.  Really, find time to rest."

I am going to do a better job of the latter...

Unfailing Love

Nothing can ever prepare you for the death of someone you love or care for deeply. Death is a tough thing, but I would say it is even harder when unexpected.

 Thursday morning I had just finished up with morning duty and announcements when my phone dinged with a text message alert. The message was from my childhood friend, MPB, and it read: "My dad just died. We don't know what to do. Plz pray." I ran into my office and immediately called her. Surely, I was misreading this...but I was not. We had a fast conversation through crying. I sat in my office stunned, sad, confused; it all happened so quickly.

 It's a very surreal feeling. Even in going over to their home today, it did not feel like he was gone but just not in from work or running errands. Although he was a quiet man, he loved picking and joking when I would come to visit. We'd talk about work, life, sports, family...He genuinely cared, and I would always joke, reminding anyone present: "I am the favorite child!" He'd smile; his biological children would comment.

 This evening I went to a service at the church where I spent my early years. We celebrated the life of another one of my father figures who is still living. After the service he came and gave me a big hug, and thanked my mother and me for coming. He shared how touched he was that I would come home to be there.

 These two men may never realize the positive impact they've had in my life. Growing up, they both played significant roles in my life even if I was mainly hanging with their children or naturally gravitated toward their wives, who are considered second Moms to me.

 While it hurts and hot tears stream down my face, I remember. I have peace even in the midst of the hurt, and know God will heal all wounds. I am blessed for and by the season; I am a better person.

 I meditate on these words: Lamentations 3:31-32-" For no one is abandoned by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, He also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love."