Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving...

There is nothing in the world that you cannot do
When you believe in you, who are beautiful
Yeah, you, who are brilliant
Yeah, you, who are powerful
Yeah, you, who are resilient
-India Arie




I've learned this week it is about our posture, not our position...I am loving my 30's and feel incredibly blessed to be in the place He has me in right now. As I grow and better take stances in the things I know to be true, I further align myself in His will, allowing myself and others to be elevated. AMEN!

Great week of Vacation Bible School...I will continue to seek (His) truth.

Extra! Extra!

For the record, I am too nice.

For the record, you're so extra...

There are times when I freeze up in conversations with people to avoid conflict. I often fear imposing my feelings upon them. This trait has its benefits as well as its drawbacks. My gut reaction and thoughts would truly send people over the edge. How do I know? Well, when pushed beyond limit, I tend to deliver the uncut. I've been called "cut-throat" plenty of times. I know some of my childhood friends could easily testify to this and would likely be surprised to know how reserved I have become in my ripe old age. Even some of my mentees and students would debate there is nothing quiet about me, but they're a whole other case and don't count.

Often, I choose not to tell people about themselves because no one is perfect. I am no one's judge and at the end of the day we will all be held accountable. I also choose not to discuss or share deeper truths because once I have released it to God, I really have let it go and moved on (in an unphased and okay manner)...We cannot stay off the path forever and life is too short with too many great things promised to us than to struggle and mope around sadly about isolated happenings. Wouldn't I be going against everything I know as a believer to go into a phased mode by something insignificant? It would be one thing if I was still a child, but as an adult it is beyond me to hold a grudge or behave childishly.

However, this moves into another important life lesson: Not everyone is going to be best friends in this walk. This is likely the hardest lesson I have had to learn--as a child and (now) adult. I especially have to know this in the my position through work. The motto is: It's not personal; it's business! This serves as a truth for work, church, sorority life, etc. We can believe and invest in the mission and vision without having to discuss anything outside that. In other words, at work there are a lot of folks who are great at what they do when it comes to our clientele; however, there are several that I would never spend time with outside of work simply because we have different intersts and values.

A lot to preface, but much to get off the mind...

Today I held my tongue. Not because I am upset or sad as you have told yourself, but because, quite frankly, I do not care. I held my tongue to spare your feelings because you really have not taken the time to consider mine...Your only worry is about what your choices have done to make me respond the way I am responding to you now when you never really considered that this could be the outcome. (A logical outcome I might add.) If you have made a decision in your heart about where you are being led, do not worry about what I or others think. It is not up for discussion, justification, or even advice. Just do it. As it turns out, we have to work together because we belong to the same organization with similar passions; therefore, I will respect and be cordial to you. Otherwise, I really have no other need because outside of that I have lost all respect...And that is okay.

At the end of the day, it is safe to say that the issue that surfaced became less complicated the moment you shared you needed out. Respectfully, I accepted, reflected, prayed and put it on the alter. Deeper truth - it's been done. I only wish you knew me well enough to know that there were other items and factors in my life that surfaced before you and were there after you that may have contributed to any "pain" I have experienced in the past year. But, if it helps to add me to the list of those you've managed to push away, I'll never argue otherwise.

Love & Marriage

One of the wonderful things about Summer is wedding season. Although with age the season has slowed considerably for me, I now get to enjoy the new wave of younger friends from school and church tie the knot...

Today's wedding was of one of my sorority sisters. The ceremony was non-traditional and held at a beautiful cathedral in Richmond, VA. I especially appreciated the minister sharing some history on their courtship.

I continue to ponder and ask the age old question: "How do you know...when he/she is 'the one'?" Parodoxically, this morning Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony announced they're calling it quits after 7 years of what appeared to be a happy private marriage. Devastating.

How do people fall out of love? And, even being a product of love gone bad, I still look back on past relationships and reflect on why it didn't work out differently.

As one of the custodians shared with me this week at work, "After I got out of the relationship with my first husband, I prayed and asked my maker for two things: a good man and a home. He blessed me with both."

How often do we seek God and ask Him for our heart's desire? It was definitely the case for my soror's groom today. He'd been praying and seeking when Candice came into his life. Today will forever be a memorable and special day for them.

Here are a few pictures:

Happily Ever Laughter

What better way to celebrate Independence Day than with lots of laughter...and with those you love? Love and laughter. The world needs more of it!

Rain captured the evening, preventing firework shows in the area, but I had not really plotted seeing any. My nontraditional day of activities prevailed in happy moments...I had a lazy morning and start to the day, hanging with my BFF, VLM. We went shopping and had a ball as usual finding some fun July 4th gear. For the afternoon/evening fun, I was able to join LBP and her family in good fellowship, playing Nines, and eating until my heart was content.

As I thank God for the opportunity to laugh, I also thank Him for the freedom I have found in becoming a slave to Him...Surely, that sounds a bit undone or unpolished--raw even...The subject was actually a part of my day's devotion reading. When I strive to model Jesus' ways, there are gifts and benefits. I feel better about myself and my circumstances. Oddly enough, there is much grace and favor that come in dying to flesh...There is a fullness that cannot be described, but life is better and--I dare say--easier.

Researching laughter surfaces facts such as it leading to a healthier and happier life. There is a lot of truth in that. Additionally, though, the freedom to easily laugh comes in dying regularly to live..."Jesus' call to die to our own agenda each day will make it possible for us to really live. Follow His example of the paradoxical life: As He died in order to live. He surrendered to achieve victory and He won everything by losing everything."

I am trusting in Him to guide me daily...It makes appreciating a holiday like today's that much richer.

An Endless Love

Luther Vandross made a single I still enjoy listening to entitled Endless Love. I don't think he was the first to sing it, and Mariah Carey joins him in the ballad. Those who know anything about Luther know he could deliver a mean performance, making lovers grow closer and anyone single want to be loved. Truly, he was a gifted artist who is still missed today.

I have spent a better part of a year's time embracing intervals, changing and growing through seasons, and transitioning-literally and figuratively...From the physical changes on my job to the on-and-off emotional stages.

On most days, I still find it hard to believe I am an adult who lives independently and is blessed immeasurably. On most days, I lift my head from my pillow, hold my head high and smile big to make the best of the day. On most days, while a small sadness may be within, I strive never to allow others to see or know the hurts, trials, or silent prayers prayed asking for confidence, patience, and love.

A few months ago, I was driving and came across a billboard for a popular cellular phone company that read: Signal is Strength. It got me to thinking and truly reflecting on how amazing the love of Christ is for all of us--an Endless Love. Better than any love I have ever experienced from a human, His love is so powerful and more tangible than skeptics question. Where I've been weak, He has brought me people who are strong. When I have questioned or doubted, He has restored loudly and clearly with answers and promotions. Through periods of sadness, He has brought me wonderful, beautiful friendships of those who may not have known or understood my full situation but would give obediently, selflessly, and in timely fashion.

I can sit here and type tonight that a connection to Him--a real relationship--is strength. It is manifested in the growth I have had through my church. I see it in the accountability offered via my best friend, who does not even realize how vital her presence in my life is. There is recognition in the way I feel...about myself and life. Like the little bars one sees on a cellular phone providing information about how strong the signal is, I realize mine is stronger than it has been in a long time...For a moment, I was going through the motions but had hit a real wilderness experience. However, His Endless Love kept strong. While my signal was low, the strenth of His love allowed me to stay within reach to be helped.

Tonight I realize I have an awesome service provider whose signal never fails! I recognize that I have the best life ever (words stolen from VLM). My life is not perfect, but it is special, purposeful, and full of potential. Excitedly, I am embracing the steps ahead because I know there is an endless love where the strength of it is so strong that even if I wander off the path, a signal will bring me back...He guides me.