(In) Courage...I Choose Joy

Today marks 10 years since our nation was attacked by terrorists who killed many innocent people.  The recapped footage from that day still ignites strong emotions of anger, sadness, and shock.  Watching the Twin Towers literally crumble as the planes crashed into it...Seeing people jumping to their deaths with fear...It was chaotic.  I will not soon forget where I was, but nor will many.  And, while I did not know anyone who was directly affected by that dreadful day, it hurts.  I suppose that makes me patriotic...or just human.

I can't help but think about the irony of events that have played out this week (in my life)...But, I think that is the point I wish to highlight.  Moving into this week, I thought about how many celebrate a birthday on September 11, or an anniversary...commemorating a person's death or life who was not connected to the terrorists attack. I think about my first week in a new position of leadership.  Somehow these things become trivial when we consider the bigger picture, but really they are not...

The passing of my friend's father highlighted the beautiful strength of their family; the Payne women are resilient.  While I know they are hurting, it was without question they have all faith in God that He makes no mistakes.  They were encouraging to me, sharing how at peace they were; they are planning and expecting the service for him to be a celebration--praise service.

This week's challenges and hurts reminded me that we're to bloom in courage, but that is how God works.  He brought me back to the place I am most at peace--my hometown.  Without fail, there were no coincidences, only confirmations and frequent reminders that God is in control.  We're taken through experiences where our faith is tested, but courage prevails when there is a relationship rooted in godly wisdom (my Sunday School lesson).  And, in the special way that He knows how to do, He gave me MY "sign", as the superintendent over the church's Sunday School asked us to recite the memory verse for the quarter:

I love how God shows up and shows out...Bless His holy name!

And, the lessons I was reminded of by one of my mentors/second moms: "Karen, you pray and you rest.  Really, find time to rest."

I am going to do a better job of the latter...

Unfailing Love

Nothing can ever prepare you for the death of someone you love or care for deeply. Death is a tough thing, but I would say it is even harder when unexpected.

 Thursday morning I had just finished up with morning duty and announcements when my phone dinged with a text message alert. The message was from my childhood friend, MPB, and it read: "My dad just died. We don't know what to do. Plz pray." I ran into my office and immediately called her. Surely, I was misreading this...but I was not. We had a fast conversation through crying. I sat in my office stunned, sad, confused; it all happened so quickly.

 It's a very surreal feeling. Even in going over to their home today, it did not feel like he was gone but just not in from work or running errands. Although he was a quiet man, he loved picking and joking when I would come to visit. We'd talk about work, life, sports, family...He genuinely cared, and I would always joke, reminding anyone present: "I am the favorite child!" He'd smile; his biological children would comment.

 This evening I went to a service at the church where I spent my early years. We celebrated the life of another one of my father figures who is still living. After the service he came and gave me a big hug, and thanked my mother and me for coming. He shared how touched he was that I would come home to be there.

 These two men may never realize the positive impact they've had in my life. Growing up, they both played significant roles in my life even if I was mainly hanging with their children or naturally gravitated toward their wives, who are considered second Moms to me.

 While it hurts and hot tears stream down my face, I remember. I have peace even in the midst of the hurt, and know God will heal all wounds. I am blessed for and by the season; I am a better person.

 I meditate on these words: Lamentations 3:31-32-" For no one is abandoned by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, He also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love."

Kick, Stetch, and Be Fifty...

Somebody said that it couldn’t be done,
But, he with a chuckle replied
That "maybe it couldn’t," but he would be one
Who wouldn’t say so till he’d tried.

~ Edgar Guest

Remembering that today our President joined the half century club. He makes fifty look good. From his six pack to how he loves his family, he proves that with hard work and determination dreams do come true.

So on today, here is to you, Mr. President! A little humor and underlying truths that even at fifty, life is good...

If You Can't Handle the Heat...

...get out of the kitchen.

Tonight I needed a reminder to gain control of my life...to find courage and motivation...to overcome fear and obstacles...to strengthen the growing passion I have for my destiny.

I needed a moment to appreciate the people in my life, embrace life's turning points, and recognize the Gift of the Spirit.

It was time to walk away from the piles of papers on my desk at work and breathe. There are moments that even though all is good we know we're running down and growing weary. Although happy and excited, the day's rituals were getting redundant. As a result, I was losing speed and flavor. The highs from vacation a month ago to Boston were gone...I needed inspiration.

Somebody prayed for me.

(There may have also been a silent plead or two on my own behalf.)

And, He answered. In His own way that always makes me step back and become amazed...

I ran into the local Walmart with a plan to bake cookies and needed to pick up the ingredients. My heart wasn't in it, but I made a promise to some colleagues that I would. I managed to make record time considering it being the first of the month and prime time. I glanced at the family size roasts on sale but didn't want to add to my pile or waste food. My inner, lazy self said, "Pick up Chick-fil-a." That was all the convincing I needed, yet my body had no desire for any fast food.

In my car, I sat for a moment conflicted that I had not purchased the chicken. I almost went back in to get one, but God was persistent and told me gently to just go home. "But what am I going to eat?!" I argued with a bit of irritation.

Once home, I was drained. I looked around and he nudged me to go to the freezer. "Huh?"

It was in the kitchen I begin to cast all my cares. I thawed some meat, turned on the oven, and got to work. My bf, VLM, was taking care of upgrading her phone and was headed over to assit me with cookie-baking and watching the final episode of The Bacholorette. My phone rang and MFL, my grad buddy who is a principal out in Colorado, called to share with me the news of her pregnancy.

With each captured minute of the evening, God worked His blessings, showering and restoring. It took some "heat" in the kitchen to bring me back to a place I love. I actually forgot how much I enjoy cooking...We'll see how long this lasts!

Inspiring insights.

He restored my belief in myself. He gave me confirmation. He made it plain simply by putting me on a task I absolutely deplore in order to show me He has a plan for my life (Jeremiah 29:11). He reminded me that He is in control and that I do not need to stress but keep to "cooking" no matter how hot I feel it is getting. The final product will carry a sweet aroma and have a flavorful taste!

Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving...

There is nothing in the world that you cannot do
When you believe in you, who are beautiful
Yeah, you, who are brilliant
Yeah, you, who are powerful
Yeah, you, who are resilient
-India Arie




I've learned this week it is about our posture, not our position...I am loving my 30's and feel incredibly blessed to be in the place He has me in right now. As I grow and better take stances in the things I know to be true, I further align myself in His will, allowing myself and others to be elevated. AMEN!

Great week of Vacation Bible School...I will continue to seek (His) truth.