(In) Courage...I Choose Joy

Today marks 10 years since our nation was attacked by terrorists who killed many innocent people.  The recapped footage from that day still ignites strong emotions of anger, sadness, and shock.  Watching the Twin Towers literally crumble as the planes crashed into it...Seeing people jumping to their deaths with fear...It was chaotic.  I will not soon forget where I was, but nor will many.  And, while I did not know anyone who was directly affected by that dreadful day, it hurts.  I suppose that makes me patriotic...or just human.

I can't help but think about the irony of events that have played out this week (in my life)...But, I think that is the point I wish to highlight.  Moving into this week, I thought about how many celebrate a birthday on September 11, or an anniversary...commemorating a person's death or life who was not connected to the terrorists attack. I think about my first week in a new position of leadership.  Somehow these things become trivial when we consider the bigger picture, but really they are not...

The passing of my friend's father highlighted the beautiful strength of their family; the Payne women are resilient.  While I know they are hurting, it was without question they have all faith in God that He makes no mistakes.  They were encouraging to me, sharing how at peace they were; they are planning and expecting the service for him to be a celebration--praise service.

This week's challenges and hurts reminded me that we're to bloom in courage, but that is how God works.  He brought me back to the place I am most at peace--my hometown.  Without fail, there were no coincidences, only confirmations and frequent reminders that God is in control.  We're taken through experiences where our faith is tested, but courage prevails when there is a relationship rooted in godly wisdom (my Sunday School lesson).  And, in the special way that He knows how to do, He gave me MY "sign", as the superintendent over the church's Sunday School asked us to recite the memory verse for the quarter:

I love how God shows up and shows out...Bless His holy name!

And, the lessons I was reminded of by one of my mentors/second moms: "Karen, you pray and you rest.  Really, find time to rest."

I am going to do a better job of the latter...

Unfailing Love

Nothing can ever prepare you for the death of someone you love or care for deeply. Death is a tough thing, but I would say it is even harder when unexpected.

 Thursday morning I had just finished up with morning duty and announcements when my phone dinged with a text message alert. The message was from my childhood friend, MPB, and it read: "My dad just died. We don't know what to do. Plz pray." I ran into my office and immediately called her. Surely, I was misreading this...but I was not. We had a fast conversation through crying. I sat in my office stunned, sad, confused; it all happened so quickly.

 It's a very surreal feeling. Even in going over to their home today, it did not feel like he was gone but just not in from work or running errands. Although he was a quiet man, he loved picking and joking when I would come to visit. We'd talk about work, life, sports, family...He genuinely cared, and I would always joke, reminding anyone present: "I am the favorite child!" He'd smile; his biological children would comment.

 This evening I went to a service at the church where I spent my early years. We celebrated the life of another one of my father figures who is still living. After the service he came and gave me a big hug, and thanked my mother and me for coming. He shared how touched he was that I would come home to be there.

 These two men may never realize the positive impact they've had in my life. Growing up, they both played significant roles in my life even if I was mainly hanging with their children or naturally gravitated toward their wives, who are considered second Moms to me.

 While it hurts and hot tears stream down my face, I remember. I have peace even in the midst of the hurt, and know God will heal all wounds. I am blessed for and by the season; I am a better person.

 I meditate on these words: Lamentations 3:31-32-" For no one is abandoned by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, He also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love."

Kick, Stetch, and Be Fifty...

Somebody said that it couldn’t be done,
But, he with a chuckle replied
That "maybe it couldn’t," but he would be one
Who wouldn’t say so till he’d tried.

~ Edgar Guest

Remembering that today our President joined the half century club. He makes fifty look good. From his six pack to how he loves his family, he proves that with hard work and determination dreams do come true.

So on today, here is to you, Mr. President! A little humor and underlying truths that even at fifty, life is good...

If You Can't Handle the Heat...

...get out of the kitchen.

Tonight I needed a reminder to gain control of my life...to find courage and motivation...to overcome fear and obstacles...to strengthen the growing passion I have for my destiny.

I needed a moment to appreciate the people in my life, embrace life's turning points, and recognize the Gift of the Spirit.

It was time to walk away from the piles of papers on my desk at work and breathe. There are moments that even though all is good we know we're running down and growing weary. Although happy and excited, the day's rituals were getting redundant. As a result, I was losing speed and flavor. The highs from vacation a month ago to Boston were gone...I needed inspiration.

Somebody prayed for me.

(There may have also been a silent plead or two on my own behalf.)

And, He answered. In His own way that always makes me step back and become amazed...

I ran into the local Walmart with a plan to bake cookies and needed to pick up the ingredients. My heart wasn't in it, but I made a promise to some colleagues that I would. I managed to make record time considering it being the first of the month and prime time. I glanced at the family size roasts on sale but didn't want to add to my pile or waste food. My inner, lazy self said, "Pick up Chick-fil-a." That was all the convincing I needed, yet my body had no desire for any fast food.

In my car, I sat for a moment conflicted that I had not purchased the chicken. I almost went back in to get one, but God was persistent and told me gently to just go home. "But what am I going to eat?!" I argued with a bit of irritation.

Once home, I was drained. I looked around and he nudged me to go to the freezer. "Huh?"

It was in the kitchen I begin to cast all my cares. I thawed some meat, turned on the oven, and got to work. My bf, VLM, was taking care of upgrading her phone and was headed over to assit me with cookie-baking and watching the final episode of The Bacholorette. My phone rang and MFL, my grad buddy who is a principal out in Colorado, called to share with me the news of her pregnancy.

With each captured minute of the evening, God worked His blessings, showering and restoring. It took some "heat" in the kitchen to bring me back to a place I love. I actually forgot how much I enjoy cooking...We'll see how long this lasts!

Inspiring insights.

He restored my belief in myself. He gave me confirmation. He made it plain simply by putting me on a task I absolutely deplore in order to show me He has a plan for my life (Jeremiah 29:11). He reminded me that He is in control and that I do not need to stress but keep to "cooking" no matter how hot I feel it is getting. The final product will carry a sweet aroma and have a flavorful taste!

Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving...

There is nothing in the world that you cannot do
When you believe in you, who are beautiful
Yeah, you, who are brilliant
Yeah, you, who are powerful
Yeah, you, who are resilient
-India Arie




I've learned this week it is about our posture, not our position...I am loving my 30's and feel incredibly blessed to be in the place He has me in right now. As I grow and better take stances in the things I know to be true, I further align myself in His will, allowing myself and others to be elevated. AMEN!

Great week of Vacation Bible School...I will continue to seek (His) truth.

Extra! Extra!

For the record, I am too nice.

For the record, you're so extra...

There are times when I freeze up in conversations with people to avoid conflict. I often fear imposing my feelings upon them. This trait has its benefits as well as its drawbacks. My gut reaction and thoughts would truly send people over the edge. How do I know? Well, when pushed beyond limit, I tend to deliver the uncut. I've been called "cut-throat" plenty of times. I know some of my childhood friends could easily testify to this and would likely be surprised to know how reserved I have become in my ripe old age. Even some of my mentees and students would debate there is nothing quiet about me, but they're a whole other case and don't count.

Often, I choose not to tell people about themselves because no one is perfect. I am no one's judge and at the end of the day we will all be held accountable. I also choose not to discuss or share deeper truths because once I have released it to God, I really have let it go and moved on (in an unphased and okay manner)...We cannot stay off the path forever and life is too short with too many great things promised to us than to struggle and mope around sadly about isolated happenings. Wouldn't I be going against everything I know as a believer to go into a phased mode by something insignificant? It would be one thing if I was still a child, but as an adult it is beyond me to hold a grudge or behave childishly.

However, this moves into another important life lesson: Not everyone is going to be best friends in this walk. This is likely the hardest lesson I have had to learn--as a child and (now) adult. I especially have to know this in the my position through work. The motto is: It's not personal; it's business! This serves as a truth for work, church, sorority life, etc. We can believe and invest in the mission and vision without having to discuss anything outside that. In other words, at work there are a lot of folks who are great at what they do when it comes to our clientele; however, there are several that I would never spend time with outside of work simply because we have different intersts and values.

A lot to preface, but much to get off the mind...

Today I held my tongue. Not because I am upset or sad as you have told yourself, but because, quite frankly, I do not care. I held my tongue to spare your feelings because you really have not taken the time to consider mine...Your only worry is about what your choices have done to make me respond the way I am responding to you now when you never really considered that this could be the outcome. (A logical outcome I might add.) If you have made a decision in your heart about where you are being led, do not worry about what I or others think. It is not up for discussion, justification, or even advice. Just do it. As it turns out, we have to work together because we belong to the same organization with similar passions; therefore, I will respect and be cordial to you. Otherwise, I really have no other need because outside of that I have lost all respect...And that is okay.

At the end of the day, it is safe to say that the issue that surfaced became less complicated the moment you shared you needed out. Respectfully, I accepted, reflected, prayed and put it on the alter. Deeper truth - it's been done. I only wish you knew me well enough to know that there were other items and factors in my life that surfaced before you and were there after you that may have contributed to any "pain" I have experienced in the past year. But, if it helps to add me to the list of those you've managed to push away, I'll never argue otherwise.

Love & Marriage

One of the wonderful things about Summer is wedding season. Although with age the season has slowed considerably for me, I now get to enjoy the new wave of younger friends from school and church tie the knot...

Today's wedding was of one of my sorority sisters. The ceremony was non-traditional and held at a beautiful cathedral in Richmond, VA. I especially appreciated the minister sharing some history on their courtship.

I continue to ponder and ask the age old question: "How do you know...when he/she is 'the one'?" Parodoxically, this morning Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony announced they're calling it quits after 7 years of what appeared to be a happy private marriage. Devastating.

How do people fall out of love? And, even being a product of love gone bad, I still look back on past relationships and reflect on why it didn't work out differently.

As one of the custodians shared with me this week at work, "After I got out of the relationship with my first husband, I prayed and asked my maker for two things: a good man and a home. He blessed me with both."

How often do we seek God and ask Him for our heart's desire? It was definitely the case for my soror's groom today. He'd been praying and seeking when Candice came into his life. Today will forever be a memorable and special day for them.

Here are a few pictures:

Happily Ever Laughter

What better way to celebrate Independence Day than with lots of laughter...and with those you love? Love and laughter. The world needs more of it!

Rain captured the evening, preventing firework shows in the area, but I had not really plotted seeing any. My nontraditional day of activities prevailed in happy moments...I had a lazy morning and start to the day, hanging with my BFF, VLM. We went shopping and had a ball as usual finding some fun July 4th gear. For the afternoon/evening fun, I was able to join LBP and her family in good fellowship, playing Nines, and eating until my heart was content.

As I thank God for the opportunity to laugh, I also thank Him for the freedom I have found in becoming a slave to Him...Surely, that sounds a bit undone or unpolished--raw even...The subject was actually a part of my day's devotion reading. When I strive to model Jesus' ways, there are gifts and benefits. I feel better about myself and my circumstances. Oddly enough, there is much grace and favor that come in dying to flesh...There is a fullness that cannot be described, but life is better and--I dare say--easier.

Researching laughter surfaces facts such as it leading to a healthier and happier life. There is a lot of truth in that. Additionally, though, the freedom to easily laugh comes in dying regularly to live..."Jesus' call to die to our own agenda each day will make it possible for us to really live. Follow His example of the paradoxical life: As He died in order to live. He surrendered to achieve victory and He won everything by losing everything."

I am trusting in Him to guide me daily...It makes appreciating a holiday like today's that much richer.

An Endless Love

Luther Vandross made a single I still enjoy listening to entitled Endless Love. I don't think he was the first to sing it, and Mariah Carey joins him in the ballad. Those who know anything about Luther know he could deliver a mean performance, making lovers grow closer and anyone single want to be loved. Truly, he was a gifted artist who is still missed today.

I have spent a better part of a year's time embracing intervals, changing and growing through seasons, and transitioning-literally and figuratively...From the physical changes on my job to the on-and-off emotional stages.

On most days, I still find it hard to believe I am an adult who lives independently and is blessed immeasurably. On most days, I lift my head from my pillow, hold my head high and smile big to make the best of the day. On most days, while a small sadness may be within, I strive never to allow others to see or know the hurts, trials, or silent prayers prayed asking for confidence, patience, and love.

A few months ago, I was driving and came across a billboard for a popular cellular phone company that read: Signal is Strength. It got me to thinking and truly reflecting on how amazing the love of Christ is for all of us--an Endless Love. Better than any love I have ever experienced from a human, His love is so powerful and more tangible than skeptics question. Where I've been weak, He has brought me people who are strong. When I have questioned or doubted, He has restored loudly and clearly with answers and promotions. Through periods of sadness, He has brought me wonderful, beautiful friendships of those who may not have known or understood my full situation but would give obediently, selflessly, and in timely fashion.

I can sit here and type tonight that a connection to Him--a real relationship--is strength. It is manifested in the growth I have had through my church. I see it in the accountability offered via my best friend, who does not even realize how vital her presence in my life is. There is recognition in the way I feel...about myself and life. Like the little bars one sees on a cellular phone providing information about how strong the signal is, I realize mine is stronger than it has been in a long time...For a moment, I was going through the motions but had hit a real wilderness experience. However, His Endless Love kept strong. While my signal was low, the strenth of His love allowed me to stay within reach to be helped.

Tonight I realize I have an awesome service provider whose signal never fails! I recognize that I have the best life ever (words stolen from VLM). My life is not perfect, but it is special, purposeful, and full of potential. Excitedly, I am embracing the steps ahead because I know there is an endless love where the strength of it is so strong that even if I wander off the path, a signal will bring me back...He guides me.

Principalship

Interim WJCC Principals to Become Permanent

By WYDaily Staff
Thursday, May 19, 2011

Dan Fields and Karen Swann, who have served most of the 2010-11 school year as interim principal at Warhill High School and Berkeley Middle School respectively, have been appointed as principal, pending School Board approval.

Their appointments will become effective July 1.

"Dan and Karen came into their schools during transitional periods, which requires skilled leadership to ensure that the school year progresses as seamlessly as possible for both students and staff," said WJCC Superintendent Dr. Steven M. Constantino. "Both have performed admirably in this role, which is why I am especially pleased to appoint them as principal of their schools."

Fields has served as interim principal of Warhill High School since August 2010. He began his career with WJCC schools in 1986, when he joined the Lafayette High School staff as a health and physical education teacher. Fields has been a coach for the Lafayette varsity and junior varsity football teams, as well as its cross country and wrestling squads. Between 1992 and 2007, Fields twice served as assistant principal for LHS and once for Jamestown High School from 1997-2003. He joined Warhill as assistant principal in 2007. Prior to coming to WJCC, he worked as a teacher and coach for Frederick County Public Schools from 1980 to 1985.

Fields earned a bachelor's degree in health and physical education from Old Dominion University in 1979, and a master's degree in educational administration, secondary level, from ODU in 1992.

Swann was appointed interim principal at Berkeley in December 2010. She first joined WJCC as a volunteer and tutor at Berkeley Middle School's after-school program (Project D.I.V.A.) in 2001, which she and her sorority sisters helped implement and develop. She joined the Toano Middle School staff as an English teacher in 2002, teaching for three years and serving as English instructor during the 2003 and 2004 summer sessions. From August 2005 through December 2006, Swann served as a graduate assistant at the College of William and Mary during the completion of her master's degree, returning to Toano as a lead teacher during the summer session.

Before becoming Berkeley's assistant principal in 2007, Swann was the assessment and compliance coordinator at Bruton High School in York County. Swann has been volunteering as a facilitator and instructor with the Rites of Passage program at Toano Middle School since 2003.

She earned a bachelor's degree in English and a master's degree in educational planning, policy and leadership from W&M.

WJC promotes 2 interims to permanent principals

The Virginia Gazette, Williamsburg Virginia > News > WJC promotes 2 interims to permanent principals