The Game of Life

There is no better time to play on the on the phrase "game of life" than on one of the biggest weekends of the year: Super Bowl Sunday 2008. The New England Patriots will contend the New York Giants in football. Super Bowl parties are a huge thing, and if one of these teams happen to be one's favorite the trash talking takes over the body until another football season arrives!

Today many football players that play for the Patriots and Giants were interviewed. On TBN, a Christian-base broadcast, some of the football players were on giving their testimonies. One happened to touch on "the game of life" and some of the harsh realities of our youth and society. He spoke of the young men in this world that grow up without a father figure. He mentioned that 80% of the men that go to prison and are released eventually return to the prison system.

This got me thinking about some of the issues that have hit a nerve more this week than weeks prior. What is the key to the game of life? I find myself in an environment daily where the adults and kids are miserable. Then I have phone calls, emails, and visits full of concerns and venting from more miserable people. My strength, motivation, and encouragement come from those special people in my life that are practical yet grounded and know how to stay positive. The reason they can be positive is they have an understanding of what matters (in life) and are able to put it all into perspective. They're thankful for another day, know that life is bigger than the walls they're living/working in, and they understand the power of their actions and words.

I can't tell you the number of students that come into my office each day for discipline issues and crumble to pieces behind closed doors. Granted, they had no business being defiant, disrespectful, or a disruption, but they're usually doing these things as a coping mechanism. And, if you've singled the child out in front of his/her peers, you can forget ever being able to engage them in anything you have to say. For example, one child I saw today is from a single parent household with 5 siblings in the house, about 4 nieces and nephews there, and he has several responsibilities. He can forget anyone taking the time to sit with him and read or explain his homework, and he is clearly lacking some of the skills his peers have. Then he comes to school tired, without his assignments, and is ready to be a kid only to get yelled at and told how bad he is. He is aware of his deficits and does not need to know he is failing or a clown. He needs differentiated instruction to show him he can be successful.

I have teachers that come to me not wanting to know how to come up with interventions but how to get the student out of the building. I have parents that can't be reached and fail to show up for conferences. There are staff members in avoidance mode with one another and walking on egg shells in order to keep peace...And, do I understand the misery? YES! From every angle and then some! But, I also get the game of life...

What's the secret to the game? Longevity. How is longevity accomplished? Through sanity, attitude and communication. The last of these three is probably the most powerful. And it can only be effective when executed with a genuine (and loving) spirit. It's not to say that the receiver will automatically respond the correct way. They may still act crazy, talk behind your back, or not comprehend, BUT our williness to stay consistent and truthful will take us places.

Fact is some people only know how to be negative. It is safe and easy to do. As a teacher, I always avoided the lounge because of the amount of complaining that you often found when entering. I opened my room up to those that wanted to visit me and was often told by those who frequented it that there was just something very positive, warm in the atmosphere. It was an environment I wanted free of "stinking thinking". That wasn't to say that you couldn't come in and cry and vent, but it was hoped that when you left out a burden was lifted and a problem was resolved.

We all playing in the game of life. The question is whether or not we're being defeated or if we're winning. It's a day to day, play by play...Bottom line is I love what I do, and the people I serve. I wouldn't have it any other way. I strive to brighten the days of those around me and work to be effective in helping those around me to feel successful with what they're doing and how they're doing it.

Six simple words that have remained with me since my first graduation from W&M: Find the good and praise it!