Mean Girls

Yesterday I had to report to Tiffany's Bridal Shop to choose and get fitted for a dear friend's wedding. I traveled down to Newport News trying hard to follow the directions I received from the bride-to-be who is not very good when it comes to navigating. I had made a wrong turn and was running a bit late, so I decided to call one of my friends who is in the bridal party.

As soon as I heard her voice, I could tell something was up. She is usually so upbeat and ready to joke. Instead, I could hear a distracted and flat voice. When I asked her if she was okay, I was not prepared to get the response, "No." Immediately there were tears on the other end of the phone and my friend began to vent.

She coaches volleyball and the team had just finished competing in a game day. Unfortunately, the team had not won any of the games. They haven't had any wins this season (to my knowledge). During one of the matches, my friend was trying to explain to them what they needed to do. One of the students was talking over her, and she snapped, yelling at the girl to be quiet to hear the play(s). Later on the little girl was talking terribly about my friend in the hall to her teammates, and my friend overheard them. The girl saw her, had no guilt, and continued to talk trash. Not only was this one student being negative, parents and other students were also saying some pretty mean things about her because of their losing season.

"They smile in my face, but I know they're all talking. I just don't understand. I try so hard, Karen. I give and give, but they don't appreciate it. I haven't done anything to them," she sobbed.

I told her she should not feel bad, but she quickly wanted to know how she was supposed to feel. I felt her pain because I experience this daily. I continued to talk with her and tried to offer words of comfort, but the words were not surfacing because I was feeling down myself. However, I did not want her to feel bad because of these mean girls. They're middle schoolers, and the only thing worse than a mean girl middle schooler is the woman she grows up to be.

Today's church sermon was titled "The Weight of Your Words". It was what was needed when I was talking to my friend. We forget the weight our words carry for ourselves and others. I want my friend to remember she can do ALL things through Christ. She's more than a conquerer and that no weapon formed against her shall prosper. We cannot allow our tongue to pull us down, but we do this daily. We mope around and feel sad rather than speaking positively and moving forward from out of our ruts.

Pastor left us with a charge for the week. The old familiar saying goes, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all." He added a twist to it for those of us already living the latter: "If you don't have anything nice to say, FIND something nice to say!" The positive talk will hinder the desire to talk negatively. A statistic from some years back said for every negative thing said to us when we're younger, it takes at least 8 to 12 positive statements to help us recover from the one negative...WOW!

The truth is a negative word spoken is just like a spark in the forest. Though it's small, it'll spread like wild fire and completely destroy all that's been established.

So, I ask you today: Are you a mean girl?